


Atlas

by notallballs (notallbees)



Category: Haikyuu!!, No Man's Sky (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Body Horror, Exploration, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Intersex, M/M, Medical Experimentation, On the Run, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing Body Heat, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:37:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs
Summary: No matter how many new worlds he set foot on, the feeling never lessened. He was, undoubtedly, the first human to set foot on this planet. He would probably be the last. He looked up into a pink sky that held two small, bluish moons and another distant planet, heavy overhead.After escaping together from an alien laboratory, Oikawa and Iwaizumi find their way across an infinite universe. But they're not the same people they were before their capture, and there are some secrets they can't outrun.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You don't need to be familiar with the game to appreciate the story, but please do listen to the [No Man's Sky OST by 69daysofstatic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBWvsWoUemU) while you read, it's incredibly atmospheric, and was a huge inspiration while writing this.
> 
>  
> 
> Fair warning, this fic will have some fucky content and will not be suitable for all. Specific **warnings** will be in the chapter end notes.
> 
> Please let me know if you want me to add any terms to the glossary! (see end notes)

Tooru woke to the sound of a gentle chime ringing through the small cabin. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall as the lights slowly rose in intensity. Iwaizumi was nowhere in sight, but he would be somewhere nearby. Everywhere was nearby on their tin can of a ship. Sighing, Tooru pushed himself up and climbed out of the cabin. 

Before he tucked in the sheets, he spotted a brown stain on the mattress, and bent over to examine it more closely. It looked like a smear of blood, but he was fairly certain he hadn't cut himself. Tooru checked himself over just to be sure, but when he found nothing amiss, he dressed quickly and jumped out of the central quarters to find Iwaizumi. 

"Morning, sleeping beauty," Iwaizumi said when Tooru floated out of the rotating habitation core, through to the cockpit. 

"Iwa-chan, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "Stop calling me that."

"Mm." Tooru tapped his chin, pretending to consider. "No," he said at last. "I don't think I will."

"Whatever," Iwaizumi said, still watching the viewscreen. "We jumped three systems while you were out. Computer thinks we'll find heridium here."

"It had better be right this time," Tooru muttered. A quick glance at Iwaizumi's face told him that he'd been heard, but there was no need to say anymore on the subject. If they didn't find heridium here to convert into fuel for the warp engine, they would just have to hope there was a habitable planet in the system they could set up camp on. 

Iwaizumi was hunched over the console. Tooru reached out and touched his shoulder, and was startled when Iwaizumi flinched away from him. 

"Sorry," Tooru said softly. "You should get some rest."

"Yeah," Iwaizumi said, covering his face with his hands briefly. "Sorry. Yeah, I will."

Tooru nodded, moving back to a respectful distance while Iwaizumi unclipped his seat harness and headed for the door. "Oh, Iwa-chan," he called, as Iwaizumi reached the door hatch. "I noticed some blood on the sheets, I think. Is everything alright?"

Iwaizumi blinked at him. "My bad. Wake me up if you find something."

Tooru frowned after him as he left, but if he'd learned one thing about Iwaizumi in the short time they'd known one another, it was that pressing him for information would only make him close up more tightly. If Tooru wanted to get to the bottom of the situation, he'd have to find another way around Iwaizumi's pride. 

 

—

 

After Iwaizumi had rested, they hopped down to the first planet in the system, Iwaizumi piloting while Tooru fastened himself into his exosuit. 

"I'll go down," Iwaizumi said, as they drifted across the planet's surface.

Tooru shook his head. "I don't mind," he said, and patted the chestpiece of his exosuit. "I'm already dressed for the occasion."

Iwaizumi frowned. "Fine, but I go next time."

Tooru grinned and flashed him a peace sign. "Whatever you want, Iwa-chan! Though we both know I'm faster."

"In your dreams," Iwaizumi muttered, turning away from him. "Be careful out there, looks like we've got some silicate fauna roaming around."

"I'm always careful!"

 

—

 

In hindsight, Tooru should have been more careful. His scans had shown the promise of a large cache of heridium in a network of caves, but no sooner had he stepped inside than he blundered right into some kind of nest, or hive. The creatures inhabiting it were insectoid in appearance, reminiscent of cockroaches, but the size of small dogs and with several sets of skittering feet. In trying to fend them off, Tooru had gotten turned around, and had been wandering the cave's interior for more than thirty minutes in search of a way out. 

To make things worse, the emeril deposits that lined the inside of the cave system were disrupting his communications receiver, so he couldn't beg Iwaizumi for a rescue. Tooru passed the deposits regretfully; Emeril would fetch a pretty penny on the galactic trade network if only they could find a space station, ideally a Korvax-controlled one. Tooru had been on a Korvax-run mission when he was taken by the Neah'u, and he had a fairly good standing in their scientific community, for a human. 

The cave itself was a wonder. Every now and then he heard the skittering of feet; more of the creatures he'd encountered at the cave mouth, but none of them troubled him. The torch on his visor passed over beautiful striations of colour in the solid rock, and delicate fungi grew along the walls, marking out strange patterns in its fruiting bodies.

Rounding a bend in the cave, Tooru nearly yelled in surprise when he realised what was in front of him, the blinking scanner of his exosuit pointing his attention toward a huge deposit of heridium. He scrambled to unhook the multitool from his belt and slotted in a new charge of carbon before letting rip on the deposit. The static at the back of his mind began to dissipate as he watched the gauge on the anti-grav tank fill with enough of the mineral to take them anywhere they wanted to go. They would still need to mine for fuel to power the launch thruster and the pulse engines, but that would be a lot easier to track down. 

When the tank was full, Tooru recharged the tool again, and carefully hooked it back on his belt. The static was creeping into his mind again. The tank full of heridium would be useless if he couldn't find his way out of the cave. 

Rather than keep wandering aimlessly, Tooru sat down on a rock and turned off his search light for a few moments to conserve the energy in his exosuit while he tried to decide what to do. It took him several seconds to realise that the cave walls had continued to glow around him. Looking around, the miserable clenching in his stomach eased slightly, and he started to grin. All around him grew clumps of phosphorescent fungi. Tooru was glad Iwaizumi wasn't around to see him jumping around and punching the air gleefully.

 

—

 

Sometime later, gloves stained from crumbling up the fungi to make himself a glowing breadcrumb trail, Tooru finally stumbled back across the nest of disgruntled insectoid creatures, and then out into the dying light. No matter how many new worlds he set foot on, the feeling never lessened. He was, undoubtedly, the first human to set foot on this planet. He would probably be the last. He looked up into a pink sky that held two small, bluish moons and another distant planet, heavy overhead. Tooru took a deep breath and let it out slowly, committing the sight to memory. 

"Iwa-chan?" he said, activating his neural link as he began to trek back toward the ship.

"Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi's voice exploded in his headset, making him jump in surprise. "What the fuck were you doing? I've been calling you for an hour, you piece of shit! Are you hurt? I'll fucking kill you—"

Tooru muted the receiver with a sigh and began to jog back in the direction of the ship. He gave Iwaizumi thirty or forty seconds of screaming before turning the volume back up.

"—better be on your way back, asshole. Don't make me come out there and drag you, this fucking storm is almost on us."

Tooru blinked, and looked up at the empty sky. "A storm?" 

"What did I just say, fucknut?" Iwaizumi yelled. "There's a radiation storm incoming. You get the fuck back on this ship in the next ninety seconds or I'm leaving without you."

Swearing under his breath, Tooru took a run-up and then engaged his jetpack as he kicked off the ground, propelling himself forward. Cresting a ridge, he saw the ship waiting down below, and behind it the dark, towering clouds of a storm on the horizon. 

"Oh, fuck," Tooru said, glancing down at his display. The jetpack was exhausted, and he kept one eye on the gauge as he scrambled down the rise. Crashing to his knees at the bottom, Tooru spotted the gauge flash green again; he braced his feet against a rock and kicked off hard, engaging the jetpack again. The inertia threw him the fifty or so metres to the ship and, unable to stop himself, he crashed bodily against the side of the hull. Iwaizumi had already thrown open the hatch a metre away; he grabbed hold of Oikawa's exosuit and tugged him inside, the two of them tumbling through the open hatchway together. 

"Get that sealed!" Iwaizumi roared, pushing himself up and scrambling for the cockpit. "We need to get above the storm!"

Wincing at the ache in his chest from the rough landing, Tooru staggered to his feet and reached for the hatch. He slammed it shut and hit the control to seal the entrance, breathing a sigh of relief when he heard the hiss of the cabin depressurising. 

"We're up!" Iwaizumi yelled, kicking life into the launch thrusters. "Grab hold of something, I think it's gonna get bumpy!"

Tooru seized the handle of the hatch as they rose from the planet's surface, boosters firing beneath where he stood. The ship shook violently around them, no doubt thanks to the storm's interference, and Tooru clung on as best he could, his heart in his stomach, as they climbed rapidly through the planet's atmosphere. 

When they levelled out at last, Tooru sank against the door with a heavy sigh. His chest ached, and it hurt to breathe, but he was alive at least, not being torn apart by dog-sized cockroaches or burned alive in his suit by the storm. With another shaky sigh, Tooru reached up and tapped his communicator. 

"Status, Iwa-chan?"

"We're okay," Iwaizumi replied in an unsteady voice. "We cleared the atmosphere." He laughed. "Smooth sailing."

"Oh, good," Tooru said, and promptly passed out.

 

—

 

When Tooru came round he fully expected to get yelled at, but the first thing Iwaizumi did was hustle him straight into the decontamination chamber. They sat in silence while the chamber blasted their exosuits, then Iwaizumi helped Tooru to remove his suit so that they could shower before they went through into the habitation quarters.

"I don't know what that glowing shit is, but you got it everywhere," Iwaizumi snarled, wrestling Tooru out of the thin thermal layer he wore under his exosuit. "We'll have to sit it out in the bunk for eight hours while the ship scrubs down."

"That could be worse," Tooru said, grimacing through the pain. "I'm sure we can find a way to keep busy." He waggled his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.

"Funny," Iwaizumi growled, looking away from him. "What the hell were you doing down there anyway?"

Tooru made a face. "I ran into that fauna you mentioned."

"I told you—" Iwaizumi cut himself off suddenly as he removed Tooru's top. "What the fuck is that?" he demanded, grabbing Tooru by the arm.

Tooru winced. "What's what?"

"That," Iwaizumi hissed, lifting Tooru's arm and gesturing to his chest. 

Glancing down, Tooru saw that the right side of his chest was already mottled red and purple; he must have hit the hull harder than he realised. "Ah," he said, peering down at the bruised flesh. "That would explain the agonising pain."

"You idiot," Iwaizumi snapped. "You could've pierced a lung." He put his hands on Tooru's skin, running his fingers gently over Tooru's ribs and making a shiver run through him. "Does it hurt a lot?"

Tooru gritted his teeth and nodded. 

"Fine, bed rest," Iwaizumi said, looking up at him. "I'll crack open the med kit after we've showered."

His fingers were still resting on Tooru's stomach, and Tooru became aware of how close they were suddenly, the fact that they were both naked. He'd gotten so used to being in close quarters with Iwaizumi that nudity felt commonplace, but for all their close proximity, Iwaizumi rarely touched him. Almost went out of his way to avoid it in fact.

"Iwa-chan," Tooru murmured. He raised his hand and laid it over Iwaizumi's on his belly. 

Iwaizumi jerked his own hand away quickly. "Bed," he said again, glancing away. "I'll get that heridium loaded into the fabricator. We need to make sure we've got enough to craft a few warp cells."

"I don't bite, you know," Tooru said, a little reproachful. "You don't need to be so afraid of me."

Iwaizumi caught his eyes briefly, before looking away. "It's not you I'm afraid of."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning:** minor injury, nothing big


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for joining me on this strange journey! :3

After Hajime had tended to Oikawa's injuries and put him to bed, he donned his exosuit once more so that he could refuel the pulse engines and double check that the ship hadn't been damaged by their hasty retreat, or by Oikawa's return. After that was done, he transferred the heridium from Oikawa's exosuit storage to the fabricator, to create the warp fuel they would need to reach a space station. An hour or so later he returned to the decon chamber, and went back to check on Oikawa. 

His companion was sleeping soundly, taking up the entirety of the small bunk with his spreadeagled limbs. The nanobots from the medkit were working steadily on fixing his cracked ribs; their faint blue glow was apparent through Oikawa's skin. 

Hajime wondered what would happen if he injected them into himself. Would they see that something was wrong? Hajime wasn't certain of the extent of their programming, and he wasn't sure he wanted to take the risk of trying it out. They might end up making things worse. He would just have to try to avoid getting any serious injuries.

As Hajime stood watching, Oikawa stirred in his sleep, making a soft noise of discomfort. Hajime sat down on the edge of the bunk and, after a moment's hesitation, he reached up and brushed Oikawa's hair back off his forehead. Oikawa leaned into his touch, sighing under his breath, and Hajime's insides squirmed in response. He quickly withdrew his fingers and retreated to the other side of the cabin, where he brought up the ship's stored medical references on a tablet and began to search through them. 

They hadn't tried connecting to any of the planetary networks yet, for fear that the Neah'u would use the signal to track them down. Oikawa wanted to go ahead and try, reasoning that they weren't valuable enough as samples to chase after, but then Oikawa didn't have all the facts. Hajime hadn't been entirely candid with him about the extent of the Neah'u's research. Even knowing what he did, Hajime didn't fully understand their purpose. His neural translator had been unable to decipher Neah'u speech, but it had become abundantly clear that the majority of their efforts were focused on getting Hajime and Oikawa to breed. 

He and Oikawa had joked about it, after their escape, still flush with success and borderline hysterical with fear that they would be caught and dragged back at any moment. The subject hadn't come up since. Hajime had done his best to avoid it.

Predictably, the medical records held almost no information about human anatomy and biology, and what it did hold was fairly useless for his own unusual situation. Hajime was briefly tempted to plug into one of the planetary networks anyway, but he wasn't convinced that it would be any more enlightening. 

With a quick glance to assure himself that Oikawa was still sleeping soundly, Hajime went into the bathroom and stripped down to shower again. His lower abdomen ached terribly, and he pressed his hand over it tightly, trying to ease the pain. It had been easier to forget about what had been done to him until the bleeding started. Looking away, Hajime slid his hand down further, nudging aside his genitals and finding the softness behind them. The ache continued there, but pressing his fingertips against himself brought a brief respite. 

Lifting his hand away after a moment, he looked at the blood covering his fingers and sighed. Some trial and error with the fabricator had provided him with a small, silicone cup, although it had taken him several tries to implement it effectively. The first time he tried, he'd disturbed Oikawa with his retching, and had to make up some excuse about a bad dream. That, at least, Oikawa understood. Neither of them had slept well since their escape. 

Hajime finished cleaning himself up, and dressed again before returning to check on Oikawa once more. Neither of them had experienced any serious injuries yet, but it was really only a matter of time. Isolated this way, jumping between mostly uninhabited worlds, there was little to no room for error. 

When Hajime went back over to the bunk, Oikawa was tossing fitfully, his eyelids fluttering. Hajime debated briefly over whether to wake him; Oikawa needed to rest to allow his cracked ribs to heal, but he didn't like the thought of Oikawa suffering through another nightmare if he could put a stop to it. He moved closer and put a hand on his shoulder to nudge him awake. 

"Oikawa," he said softly. "Hey."

Oikawa's eyes opened wide, and he stared at Hajime unseeing for several moments. "...Iwa?" he whispered at last.

Hajime nodded. "You okay? Looked like you were dreaming."

"Mm." Oikawa's face darkened. "I'm...fine." He shifted under the sheets and winced. "Are these things really helping? My chest is on fire."

"It's only been a couple of hours," Hajime soothed, pushing him back gently against the mattress. "Go back to sleep."

"What about you? You didn't rest for long before."

"I'm fine."

Oikawa huffed at him. "Just get in, there's room for two."

"There really isn't."

"We've shared before," Oikawa said petulantly. Then, changing tack. "I'm in pain, Iwa-chan, can't you humour me just this once?"

Hajime groaned. It had been hard hiding what had happened to him from Oikawa, considering the close quarters they lived in, but even more so since the bleeding started. Still, a part of him craved the contact, and the sight of Oikawa's face so pale and drawn made his insides squirm unpleasantly.

"Alright," he sighed, moving closer. "Just for a little while."

Oikawa's smile was strained, but he moved over to make space. After straightening out the tangled sheets, Hajime climbed in, careful not to jar Oikawa's ribs as they fitted themselves together. Oikawa was feverishly warm beside him, but moved closer to Hajime anyway, forehead pressing against his shoulder. When Hajime closed his eyes, he could still see the glow of the nanobots through his eyelids, and hear Oikawa's laboured breathing. 

It took him a long time to fall asleep.

 

—

 

They were woken several hours later by the ship announcing that it had completed its decontamination cycle. Hajime pushed a complaining Oikawa back into the bunk when he tried to sit up, and retreated to the bathroom. He was hot from being pressed up against Oikawa, and the thermal layer he wore was damp with sweat. 

"You're spending a lot of time in the bathroom, Iwa-chan," Oikawa observed when he emerged again. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

"Don't be stupid," Hajime grumbled, tugging out some clean clothes from their meagre supply. They had managed to source some materials to create a basic wardrobe in the ship-board fabricator, but the plant matter they'd found wasn't ideally suited to the purpose, and the clothes were stiff and uncomfortable.

Oikawa's smile turned sly. "Ohh," he said, leaning forward. "So it's the other reason. You know, Iwa-chan, if you wanted some alone time, you only had to say—"

"Oikawa," Hajime said sharply. "Drop it, seriously."

"Alright," Oikawa said, eyes wide. "Consider it dropped."

Hajime turned away from him to dress. The ache in his abdomen had lessened, but he still felt heavy and sluggish. He could've easily slept for another six hours. Instead, he climbed out to the cockpit, and pulled up the navigation system. They were still three hyperjumps away from the nearest space station. According to the records it was Gek-run, which would disappoint Oikawa, who had been hoping for a Korvax outpost, but Hajime didn't mind the Gek. They were straightforward and helpful, for the most part, and the most tolerant of humans out of the galactic alliance. 

They had left the ship in orbit while they slept, and when Hajime looked below he could still see the radiation storm raging on the surface. Another lucky escape. He was starting to think they were running on borrowed time. 

Hajime brought up the results of the ship's local system scan on the screen. Reaching a space station had been their primary goal since their escape, but now that it was within reach, Hajime didn't like the idea of showing up empty-handed. They could pawn the ship, but then they would be at the mercy of others again, and would have to hope for a generous soul willing to give them a ride elsewhere. But if they could get their hands on some valuable minerals first, they'd have a better chance of getting somewhere they actually wanted to go. 

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa said from the hatchway. 

Hajime jumped, lost in thought, and scowled over his shoulder. "You scared me half to death," he snapped. "Go back to bed."

Oikawa ignored him. "We're still in orbit?"

"Yeah," Hajime sighed, giving in to the inevitability of Oikawa's interferement. "We should make the jump soon, if we're gonna do it."

"There's no rush," Oikawa said, pulling himself into the pilot seat beside Hajime and wincing as he strapped himself in. "Do you really want to show up empty-handed?"

Hajime scowled at the sound of Oikawa voicing his own thoughts aloud. "What choice have we got?"

Oikawa stared at him. "Go back down there, obviously. That cave was _full_ of emeril deposits, you know. That's why you couldn't raise me on the communicator."

"I don't care," Hajime said, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous. We barely got off the surface in one piece." He glanced at Oikawa, and the dark bruising on his chest. "Case in point," he muttered. 

"Well...then let's try the other planet," Oikawa suggested. "Or that little moon. Even if we don't do any mining, I'm sure there's plenty to document, and we could really use the research money."

Hajime grimaced. "Oikawa," he groaned. 

"This is all uncharted!" Oikawa said, waving one arm in a broad arc at the view screen. "Nothing on these planets except sentinels. Nobody's ever set foot here but us."

"Nobody but you," Hajime grumbled. 

Oikawa grinned. "Exactly."

"I don't know about this," Hajime said, mouth twisting. "If something happens—"

"Then we'll deal with it," Oikawa said, his voice firm. He leaned over, and put his hand on Hajime's wrist. "Iwa, we've come this far, haven't we?"

Oikawa's eyes were wide, his pupils large and dark in the dim light of the cockpit. One side of his jaw was lit by the glow from the panel display, throwing his features into strange relief. 

"Oikawa," Hajime sighed, looking away from him. He moved his arm out from under Oikawa's hand. "Fine, we can take a look at the other planet."

"Yay!" Oikawa cheered.

"But _I'm_ going down there this time," Hajime said in a gruff voice. "You're going to stay on board, and _rest_."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa complained, shoulders slumping. 

"Hey," Hajime snapped. "We're not arguing about this. You're hurt. We're not taking any more risks than we need to."

Oikawa tipped his head to one side. "Are you worried about me, Iwa-chan?" he asked softly, leaning closer. 

"Are you after a smack?" Hajime growled, raising his fist. 

"So violent!" Oikawa teased, grinning at him. He leaned away again, bouncing gently against his seat. "Alright then, you refuelled the pulse engines, didn't you? Let's go take a look."

 

—

 

Stepping out of the ship onto the planet's surface was like breathing in a lungful of fresh air, even though he was only breathing the recycled oxygen of his exosuit. Oikawa was humming an off-key tune in his ear, which Hajime assumed was his punishment for forcing him to stay behind on the ship. 

"Oikawa," he snapped, activating the neural link for his communicator. "Don't make me switch channels."

"No need to be mean, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said brightly. "Now, start heading northwest. There's some kind of structure out that way that I'm curious about."

Hajime groaned. "We're out here to make trade units, Oikawa, not poke around in things that don't concern us."

"Re-search!" Oikawa sing-songed in his ear.

"Fine," Hajime grumbled, setting off toward the tracker displayed on his suit visor. "But there'd better be something useful in this direction too."

It was only a fifteen minute walk to the point Oikawa had marked for him, with very little to see on the way. Hajime made sure to scan the sparse foliage he passed, because as much as he might complain about it, Oikawa wasn't wrong about the research money. They would just have to wait until they were safely aboard the Gek station to upload all the data, where their transactions couldn't be tracked so easily. 

After he'd walked a kilometre or so, a formation of tall, jagged rocks loomed up ahead of him. Normally Hajime would've employed his jet pack and climbing gear and scrambled over the top of them, but an unfamiliar sense of pragmatism held him back. 

"Oikawa," he snarled, activating the communicator again. "There's a sodding great pile of rocks in the way, I'm gonna go around. Nice reconnaissance, by the way."

"Just go over the top!" Oikawa chirped. 

"Too risky," Hajime replied. "How's it looking back there?"

"Oh, fine, fine," Oikawa sighed. "The sky's as clear as crystal."

"What kind of crystal," Hajime grumbled.

"Hm?"

Hajime rolled his eyes. "Just keep a lookout, alright? I might need an evac."

Whatever Oikawa said in response, Hajime didn't hear, as he cut off the communicator again after the first syllable. He'd noticed that Oikawa liked to have the last word, but that didn't mean Hajime had to listen to it.

The route change added another fifteen minutes to his journey time, but Hajime found he didn't mind the extra walk. There was precious little space on the ship, and he was rarely given the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts. The communicator would alert him if Oikawa had anything urgent to say, but until then it was just him, and the wide yellow sky. An entire planet of nothingness. 

On the other side of the rocky outcropping, Hajime stumbled across a mineral deposit. He stopped for a moment to admire the regular structures formed by the crystals, before unhooking the multi-tool from his belt and aiming it at the nearest deposit. Titanium, zinc and plutonium weren't as hard to come by as heridium, but they were always in demand. He filled up half the storage modules in his exosuit, before continuing on his way. He was nearing the structure Oikawa had asked him to investigate. Privately, Hajime was hoping for some kind of abandoned outpost to salvage from, or a galactic trade console he could employ to rack up some much needed trade units. 

Cresting another ridge, Hajime saw the structure spread out below him. It was some kind of mining facility, with a small launchpad to the rear of the building. A few smaller buildings sat away from the main facility, and Hajime was just about to start down the hill to investigate when he heard the roar of a pulse engine skipping overhead. 

Hajime dropped back against a nearby boulder, his heart pounding in his throat. His breathing was loud in his ears, amplified by the exosuit. "Oikawa," he hissed, activating the neural link. "That had better be you pissing about."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Oikawa asked, sounding more curious than annoyed.

Hajime glanced up, but couldn't see anything in the sky. "I heard a ship. Was that you?"

"I—I haven't moved." Oikawa's voice came back small, frightened. 

Hajime had a brief pang of annoyance, but he quickly squashed it down. Oikawa had suffered just as much as he had at the hands of the Neah'u scientists. 

As he crouched there, the nearby pulse engine gulped and stuttered, and then yawned as the unfamiliar ship descended. Hajime was frozen, unsure whether he should try to run, or stay hidden. He leaned out from his hiding place, looking down at the facility, where a small craft much like their own had docked on the launchpad. As he watched, two figures emerged from the craft, and even from a distance, he was certain. They were Neah'u.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](https://notallballs.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/notallbees) | [my iwaoi fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=1329922&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&fandom_id=758208&user_id=notallbees)
> 
>  
> 
> **Warnings:** May be triggering to those with gender dysphoria. Iwaizumi has been experimented on and given female sexual organs without his consent.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me on this weird ride! :3
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings in end notes

"Iwa," Tooru hissed, his hands shaking where they rested on the console. "Iwa-chan, come in."

It had been over two minutes since Iwaizumi had reported sighting Neah'u agents, and then, nothing but radio silence. Tooru sat, paralysed. If Iwaizumi had been able to slip away unnoticed, then Tooru was better off waiting for him in the ship. The moment he engaged the pulse engine, the Neah'u ship would register their presence, giving him very little time for a rescue attempt. But the longer he waited, the more danger he could be putting them in through his inaction. 

Without any word from Iwaizumi, Tooru had no way of knowing which was the best course of action. The wrong decision could take them straight back to that lab. Should he wait, or take the initiative? As he sat there, trying to weigh up his choices, the dark spectre of a third option crept in. Tooru quickly pushed it away again, but guilt sat heavy in his chest at having even thought it. 

"Iwa-chan," he said, his voice shaking. "I think I should get the ship in the air. If you climb that outcropping, I could—"

"Wait," Iwaizumi replied, speaking in a low whisper. 

Tooru swallowed heavily. "Iwa?"

"I'm going to try and get closer."

"What!?" Tooru yelled. On the other end of the link, Iwaizumi swore. "Ah, sorry."

"They've gone inside the facility," Iwaizumi murmured. "I think I can get close to their ship and disable it."

Tooru's heart began to beat harder, its already rapid pace kicking up a step. There wasn't enough air in his lungs, and he put a hand out to the console to steady himself. "Iwa," he gasped. "No, what're you talking about? There could be more of them on the ship, you could get hurt—"

"I won't risk them coming after us again."

There was something cold and hard in Iwaizumi's voice that Tooru didn't recognise. Tooru tried to raise him again over the communicator, but Iwaizumi had cut off the neural link, and Tooru's voice fell flat into dead, empty space. Groaning, he got up from his seat and began to pace around the deck. He was grateful for the small planet's stable gravity field, akin to that of his home planet, which allowed him to pace normally. Something about the action soothed him, enabling him to think more clearly.

As he paced back and forth beneath the viewscreen, a lazy sentinel idled overhead, the pugneum-driven perpetual motor humming companionably inside. Tooru stopped pacing and stood still to watch the little drone fly over. Early in his career, he had been fascinated by sentinels. How they'd come to be, and why, and what accounted for their presence on so many untouched worlds. 

A sudden spark of inspiration made Tooru's racing heart skip a few beats, his eyes widening as he stared up at the empty yellow sky. He scrambled over to the console and punched in a few commands while skimming through his memory for the little he'd managed to learn about sentinels in the past. He booted up the ship's scanner and ran a diagnostic scan on the nearby sentinel. The machines themselves were impossible to hack, but each transmitted a weak signal with their identifying codes. It was how they recognised one another, and how they signaled for help if they detected wrongdoing in their territory. 

"Priority communication," Tooru said, activating his neural link. "Iwa-chan, listen, I've got an idea."

For several seconds there was no reply, long enough that Tooru began to panic, but then Iwaizumi's voice came back, low and gruff. 

"I'm busy here, Oikawa, what is it?"

"Just do exactly what I tell you, alright?

"Oikawa—"

"I'm going to spoof a sentinel signal to your multi-tool," Tooru said, eyes flickering across the display. "It won't fool the sentinels for long, so you'll have to be ready to run."

"Oikawa, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Did you say it was a mining facility?"

"Yeah..."

"Then there should be storage canisters somewhere around the perimeter. When I give you the signal, start shooting at them."

Iwaizumi made a sound of disbelief. "Are you crazy?" he hissed. "The Neah'u will come running out, and the sentinels—"

"Will attack anything that's not a sentinel," Tooru finished smugly. "That's why I'm going to spoof the signal to your multi-tool, and maybe your suit for good measure. But you're going to have to get ready to _run_."

"Oikawa, it took me thirty minutes to get here, I can't run all the way back without them catching me."

"Just get up on that outcropping," Tooru said. "And do it as fast as you can. The moment you start shooting, I'll get the ship in the air. If we time this right, I'll pick you up at the top." 

Iwaizumi laughed. "You _are_ crazy. Alright, tell me when to move."

It took Tooru several minutes to create the false signal and remotely activate Iwaizumi's exosuit and multi-tool, by which point he was sweating profusely, and was all too aware of Iwaizumi's nervous muttering in his ear. 

"Alright," Tooru said, moving across to the pilot's seat and strapping himself in. "Moment of truth."

"Good luck, Oikawa."

"You too." Tooru smiled grimly. "Light them up, Iwa-chan."

The neural link went silent, and Tooru silently counted in his head. He'd already calculated how long it should take Iwaizumi to run from the facility to the outcropping he'd discovered. The only uncertainty was how quickly he could get away from the Neah'u, and how long it would take him to scramble up the rocks. Tooru was impatient to launch, but he didn't want to give away Iwaizumi's destination and draw any fire his way. He waited until he thought Iwaizumi should've reached the rocks, and kicked the little ship into the air. 

Turning the ship toward the mining facility, Tooru set the engines to a gentle cruise, keeping low to the ground. 

"Iwa-chan?" he said, trying to sound calm although his heart was in his throat. "Iwaizumi, come in." 

Tooru waited another fifteen seconds before trying again, resisting the urge to increase his speed. Thirty seconds passed. Sixty. 

"Oikawa!" Iwaizumi's voice suddenly exploded in his ear. "I'm at the rocks, where are you?"

"On my way," Tooru said, grinning as he nudged the engines from a purr to a roar. He skimmed along the surface of the planet, then banked into a near-vertical climb when he reached the outcropping. 

"Oikawa—they're almost on me," Iwaizumi yelled breathlessly. "Oikawa—!"

Swearing, Tooru deliberately stalled the engine as he looped around the jagged rock formation, eyes frantically scanning the surface for some sign of Iwaizumi while counting the seconds in his head until he had to engage the engine again. "Six—five—come on, Iwa-chan—three—two—"

A blur of movement caught his eye, and he looked down in time to see Iwaizumi hit one of the rocky surfaces hard. The dove grey of his exosuit stood out against the red rock, and as Tooru watched him, meanwhile kicking the engines into gear once more, laser blasts cut across the space between them, sending up plumes of red dust where they hit the rocks. 

"No no no," Tooru muttered, bringing the nose of the ship around. Three sentinels were approaching, quickly gaining on Iwaizumi's position. Tooru engaged the pulse cannon and blasted the three little drones out of the air with one shot. 

"Not them!" Iwaizumi yelled, gesturing wildly. He was still clinging to the rock, unmoving, and Tooru realised his jetpack must have overheated. He followed Iwaizumi's arm motions, and his stomach turned inside out when he saw the Neah'u ship bearing down on him. It was twice the size of their own, though luckily it appeared to have similarly poor defences. 

Without pausing to think, Tooru unleashed another volley from the pulse cannon, then he rolled the ship to the side, swinging in close to the rock face. He hoped fervently that he wouldn't crush Iwaizumi against the side of the ship. From a corner of the viewscreen he watched Iwaizumi jump, and then the ship echoed with the impact of him landing against the hull. The hatch rattled as Iwaizumi fumbled with the handle, but in the instant that Tooru was distracted, the Neah'u ship struck back. 

Tooru swore as the ship careened to the side and he was flung against the console. He let out a yell of pain, fighting through the burning in his chest as he struggled with the controls to right the ship again. 

"Iwa-chan!" he screamed. "Are you in yet?"

There was no response. Tooru yelled in frustration, and banked around to aim another volley at the Neah'u ship. Several of the shots glanced off the ship's hull, but the rest made contact, and the left side of the Neah'u ship went up in flames. 

"Got them!" he shouted, releasing another shot and watching with a surge of fierce joy in his chest as the Neah'u ship stumbled in the air, and began to sink to the ground. 

Tooru didn't hesitate before lifting the ship into the air again, scanning the rock face as he veered away. There was no sign of Iwaizumi. 

"Iwa-chan?" he called, stomach twisting. "Iwa-chan!"

"I'm in," came Iwaizumi's voice at last, his voice strained. "Close the airlock."

"Are you alright—?"

"Just get us out of here!" Iwaizumi growled. 

Sighing, Tooru hauled on the controls and pushed the ship up into orbit. He ran a quick system scan as the ship climbed through the thin atmosphere, but there was no sign of any other ship anywhere in the system. Tooru frowned. "Iwa-chan, I'm going to make the jump."

Iwaizumi took his time replying, and when he did, he sounded out of breath. "Are there more of them?"

"No," Tooru said slowly. "It's completely empty, but that worries me. The Neah'u usually travel by convoy."

"Can we make it to the Gek station?"

Tooru hummed as he pulled up the navigation system. Iwaizumi had wisely begun converting the fuel while he himself was still unconscious, so they had enough warp fuel for two jumps. Almost enough to get them to the Gek station, but not quite.

"We'll be one system short," Tooru said, frowning at the display. "There are seven planets there, half a dozen moons...plenty of places to hide out."

"Fine," Iwaizumi muttered. "Jump, just get it over with."

"Alright. Hold onto something."

 

—

 

As soon as the ship dropped out of hyperspace into the new system, Tooru dropped them into orbit around the nearest planet, one that was showing almost no structures or fauna on the system scan. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that their scrape with the Neah'u had been a chance encounter. Bad luck, and nothing more. 

Iwaizumi still hadn't joined him in the cockpit, so as soon as Tooru had secured the ship, he went in search of his companion. The airlock that Iwaizumi had entered through was empty, but Tooru's stomach turned when he spotted smears of blood on the walls, more floating in the air. Iwaizumi's exosuit was crumpled and empty, one of the legs badly torn, with more blood staining the grey material. 

"Iwa-chan!" Tooru shouted, his voice growing hoarse. "Iwa, where are you?"

A ragged coughing caught his attention. Tooru reached for the nearest wall and dragged himself toward the sound, floating all too slowly along the hallway.. 

Iwaizumi was floating by the hatch leading to the habitation core. One of his legs was sprawled out at an unnatural angle, and there was blood drifting through the air around him, and more smeared across the floor and walls. 

"Iwa," Tooru murmured, kicking off from the wall, careful not to bump into him too hard. He braced himself against the hatch and reached out to cup Iwaizumi's jaw, feeling below for his pulse. "Iwa, can you hear me?"

Iwaizumi groaned and tipped his head forward into Tooru's touch. He was bleeding from a cut on his forehead. "Thanks for the rescue," he mumbled. "Sorry I fucked it up."

Tooru laughed wetly. "Don't be stupid, Iwa-chan. You were amazing."

"Mmnh. Broke my leg," Iwaizumi muttered, eyes fluttering closed. "Don't use the nanobots."

"What? Why not?"

But Iwaizumi didn't respond, his head listing slowly to the side, his limbs slumping. He was drifting in and out of consciousness by the time Tooru had maneuvered them both through the decon chamber and into the habitation core. Tooru worked quickly to strip Iwaizumi's clothes from him with a surgical tool, checking him over for injuries. The cut on Iwaizumi's forehead was shallow, but already beginning to bruise; Tooru suspected he might have a concussion. Otherwise he was relatively unscathed, apart from the fractured tibia. At least it seemed to be a clean break. Tooru had a passing knowledge of field surgery, enough to set Iwaizumi's leg, after which he turned to the ship's store of nanobots to help jumpstart the healing process. 

His work done, Tooru cleaned up the infirmary, and then himself, scrubbing in the shower until the water ran clear of Iwaizumi's blood. It wasn't until he'd finished washing himself that he found he was shaking. He took several deep breaths to steady himself, pressing his hands against the wall. His ribs ached again from all his exertions since the Neah'u's appearance, and he made a mental note to check that he hadn't made his injuries worse again. 

Gritting his teeth, Tooru dried himself quickly and dressed again before going to check on Iwaizumi. The infirmary was lit only by the dull blue glow of the nanobots working beneath Iwaizumi's skin, and Tooru drew a stool over to the bed to sit and watch his fitful rest. Tooru had given him a painkiller, but wanted to be able to wake him up soon to check on his concussion, so he hadn't used a sedative. For a few moments, he leaned over Iwaizumi's sleeping form and touched his pale cheek, then brushed his fingers through Iwaizumi's hair, pushing it back off his forehead. In doing so, he uncovered the mottled purple-blue bruise above his left eye, and carefully withdrew his touch before he woke him. 

Satisfied that Iwaizumi was stable enough for now, Tooru dragged the mattress from their bunk into the infirmary, instructed the computer to set an alarm, and settled down to take a nap. 

 

—

 

The alarm startled him awake two hours later. Tooru sat upright quickly, then winced at the fire in his chest. He clutched at his ribs, breathing hard. 

"—'Kawa?" Iwaizumi mumbled. 

Tooru scrambled to his feet. "Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi blinked up at him, eyes bleary. They cleared suddenly, and he sat bolt upright, crying out when the movement agitated his injurIes. "Where are we?" he groaned, grabbing for Tooru's arm. "Did they—are we—"

"No! No, Iwa-chan," Tooru said quickly, moving closer. He put his hand on Iwaizumi's chest, pushing him back gently. "We're on the ship. I jumped us to another system."

Iwaizumi sagged, letting out a ragged breath. "Okay."

"It's alright," Tooru soothed, running his hand up and down Iwaizumi's arm. "We're safe for now."

Iwaizumi took another long, steadying breath. "Alright, thanks," he sighed. 

Tooru trailed his hand higher, gently brushing Iwaizumi's hair off his forehead again. Iwaizumi groaned and leaned into his touch, his fingers clasping Tooru's elbow. He opened his eyes and blinked up at Tooru, his lips parting, and Tooru was struck by the sudden urge to kiss him. He swallowed instead, turning his gaze away.

"Anyway, I'm glad we're not dead," Tooru sighed, sitting back and leaning his weight on the side of the gurney. "How do you feel?"

Iwaizumi shook his head. "Like shit." Suddenly his eyes widened, and he looked down at himself, pushing up on his elbows. "My leg—"

"Shh," Tooru hushed, gently pushing him back against the gurney. "I set the break, the nanobots will do the rest—"

"No!" Iwaizumi said, pushing against him. "I—I told you not to use them, what if—"

He trailed off, his brow lowering. Tooru squinted at him. "What if what?"

Iwaizumi grimaced. "Nothing."

"Iwa—"

" _Nothing_ ," Iwaizumi growled. "It's done, forget it."

There was more; Tooru could tell. Iwaizumi's hands were fisted tight in the sheets either side of him, and he was clenching his jaw hard enough to make a muscle twitch in his cheek. But they knew each other well enough by now that Tooru knew he'd get nowhere by forcing the issue. If Iwaizumi didn't want to talk, he would close up tighter than an airlock seal. 

"What happened?" Iwaizumi asked instead, his voice gravelly. "I only half remember it."

Tooru explained briefly, while Iwaizumi listened with a grim expression. 

"They must be tracking us," he muttered at last. 

"I don't think so," Tooru said, shaking his head. "They don't usually travel alone, and I think we would have seen more of them by now if they were tracking us." He smiled grimly. "I think if we'd never started shooting at them, they wouldn't even have known we were there."

Iwaizumi sighed. "Great," he muttered, shaking his head. "That's just our luck." He lay back, staring up at the ceiling, and Tooru watched him for a moment, taking in the shadows under his eyes, the scabbed over cut on his forehead and the accompanying bruise. His skin was still pale, but he hadn't quite lost enough blood to need a transfusion. The nanobots would help him to replenish what he'd lost more quickly in any case.

Tooru was cavalier with his own safety, but seeing Iwaizumi injured made his stomach churn. He leaned closer, resting his arms on the edge of the gurney, then laying his head on top of them. "I'm sorry I broke your leg, Iwa-chan," he whispered. 

Iwaizumi snorted, rolling his head around on the pillow to look at him. "Typical," he teased. "Always taking credit for things you didn't do."

Tooru raised his head, blinking at him. 

"It wasn't your fault, dumbass. I fell through the airlock when those bastards attacked us."

"Oh." Tooru sagged, tension draining out of him. "I'm so glad to hear that."

Iwaizumi reached out and smacked him on the shoulder. "You're _glad_?"

"Glad I didn't hurt you!" Tooru protested. "Not glad you broke your leg, Iwa-chan, don't be silly."

"Idiot," Iwaizumi said, with a pained smile. He glanced down at himself, wincing, then flopped back on the gurney. "Hey. Thanks for patching me up."

Tooru smiled wanly. "Of course. You did the same for me."

Iwaizumi nodded, and Tooru lowered his head to his arms again, breathing deeply through the pain in his chest. It was quiet in the infirmary, only the ever-present hum of the habitation core as it rotated, the occasional _plink_ of the deflector shield diverting some piece of space debris away from the ship's hull. 

Finally, Iwaizumi broke the silence. His voice was soft, but perfectly audible in the unbroken silence. "Did you think about leaving me there?"

Tooru remembered the guilt, the clenching horror in his gut when he'd thought, just for a moment, about leaving. He lifted his head and stared at Iwaizumi, eyes wide and fearful. "What?" he whispered hoarsely

Iwaizumi sighed, then sat up, wincing. "It's fine," he said, looking down at where his hands lay in his lap. "I would've done the same."

A sick feeling spread through Tooru's stomach. "You would?"

"Thought about it, I mean," Iwaizumi said, looking at him sternly. "But I would have come back for you. I always will." After a moment he reached out, holding his hand out to Tooru. "We get out together, or not at all, remember?"

Tooru nodded wordlessly. He held out his hand and pressed their palms together, and then Iwaizumi pulled him closer, sliding his arm around Tooru's back and folding him into a tentative embrace. 

For a moment, Tooru was too stunned to react. Iwaizumi had rarely initiated any kind of physical contact between them, and often flinched away when Tooru tried. Slowly, he brought his hands up to return the gesture, putting one arm around Iwaizumi's shoulders, the other around his waist. 

"O-Oikawa," Iwaizumi said in a choked voice, clutching him more tightly. 

Tooru's eyes pricked with tears. "Shh," he murmured, running his hand up and down Iwaizumi's spine. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here." Iwaizumi's chest shook under his hands, and Tooru could feel dampness on his shoulder where Iwaizumi's cheekbone dug into him. Tooru held him more tightly. "I won't let them come near you again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning:** Blood and minor injury.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll do my best to keep updating on Fridays! Thank you everyone who's left kudos and comments so far, it means a lot :D
> 
>  
> 
> **warnings** in the chapter end notes as always

It was almost twelve hours after their escape before Oikawa finally went to get some proper rest, and Hajme was able to do a quick self-exam. All his movements were made awkward by his stiff, bruised limbs, and the fractured tibia impeded him significantly. The nanobots still glowed under his skin. With some difficulty, Hajime stumbled to the medical console, and directed it to run an anatomy scan and compare the results against his scan from after their original escape. His hands shook as he sat on the edge of the gurney, waiting for the system to complete its task. When it was finished, he looked over the results with a grim expression. The scan highlighted his broken tibia, the lesions on his left arm and forehead, other minor bruising. There was no change in his hormone levels, or the appearance of his sexual organs. 

Hajime let out a heavy sigh and set the tablet aside. His hands were still shaking. He didn't know whether he was relieved or not. Whatever the Neah'u had done to him, they had done their job thoroughly. He lay down again and dimmed the lights, but lying there alone on the gurney only made him think of being in the Neah'u lab, and the phantom sensation of restraints around his limbs made him startle upright, breathing hard. 

He brought the lights up again, trying to swallow past the tightness in his throat. His hammering pulse made him feel faint. Hajime had done all he could to avoid thinking about the lab, and remembering it now, his stomach twisted and sweat broke out on his skin. He'd been there several days before they put him together in a room with Oikawa. Both men had laughed with relief to find someone of their own species in such a hopeless place. 

Closing his eyes, Hajime wrapped his arms around his uninjured leg and tried to steady his breathing. Things had begun to look up the day he met Oikawa, even if it had taken them some time to trust one another. Unbidden, a memory rose of their initial days together, the first time Oikawa had been taken away. He was returned many hours later, cradling one of his arms to his chest. The Neah'u had snapped the radius and ulna in his right forearm. While Hajime wrapped and splinted the arm as best he could, Oikawa haltingly explained that the Neah'u seemed to be testing his body's limits and regenerative qualities. Reluctantly, he had shown Hajime the shadow of healing burn marks on his back. 

Hajime shuddered, bringing himself back to the present moment. He thought of Oikawa, lying curled up in their bunk, snoring softly. The thought calmed him slightly, enough that he was able to slow his breathing by degrees, and finally lay back down. But as soon as he did, images of the lab haunted him once more, and Hajime swore before bringing up the lights and swinging his legs over the side of the gurney. It took him several minutes, but he was able to maneuver himself from the infirmary through to the hab, and he longed every moment for the ease of moving in zero G. Finally he made it, and sure enough he found Oikawa curled up with his back to Hajime, his arms wrapped loosely around himself. Hajime touched Oikawa's shoulder gently, and when he didn't wake, climbed into the bunk beside him and settled down to sleep.

 

—

 

It was more difficult to keep Oikawa at arm's length after their narrow escape. He was anxious and over-solicitous, refusing to stray far from Hajime's side. Hajime pushed down his frustration, forcing himself to take Oikawa's constant fussing with good humour. Every moment, he was afraid of Oikawa discovering the truth about his body. 

On their third day in the new system, necessity drove Oikawa out onto the surface to source materials, finally granting Hajime a brief reprieve from his constant attentions. Oikawa still dallied before leaving, insisting on checking Hajime over, inspecting his fracture, checking his pulse and temperature.

"Oi," Hajime said at last, elbowing him in the stomach. "You're gonna lose the light soon. And this is a frostbound planet, remember? If you don't get a move on it's gonna be too cold out there. These suits have shoddy hazard protection."

"Mm," Oikawa hummed, rubbing his jaw and frowning. "We should see if we can buy some upgrades when we reach the Gek station."

"That's what you want to do with the stash of nannite clusters we found?" Hajime asked, squinting at him. 

Oikawa shrugged. "Unless you have a better idea."

"The ship needs some upgrades."

"And how are we supposed to collect the materials for that if we get killed because of these shitty suits?" Oikawa asked in a sarcastic voice.

Hajime groaned. "Fine, whatever. Just hurry up, would you?"

"Are you sure you'll be alright—"

"Oikawa, I'm only gonna say this once. Fuck off."

Oikawa sniffed. "Don't come crying to me if your leg swells up and falls off."

He turned and flounced to the airlock, and finally stepped out onto the surface. With him gone, Hajime breathed a sigh of relief, until a thought crossed his mind. 

"Hey," he said, engaging the neural link. "Don't go into any caves this time, alright?"

"What was that?" Oikawa asked airily. "I can't hear you very well, Iwa-chan..."

Hajime snorted and cut the link again. He hated having to stay behind, but even if it hadn't been for his broken leg, one of them needed to guard the ship, and also monitor the falling temperature. While he waited, Hajime attempted to get the ship-board fabricator to recycle his damaged exosuit. They had three in total, so having one out of commission wasn't really an option. 

Two hours passed with minimal contact with Oikawa, though he checked in every thirty minutes as agreed. Hajime kept half an eye on the tracking screen that showed him how far Oikawa had traveled from the ship, while the rest of his attention was diverted to the fabricator, which was proving awkward. Eventually a low beeping sound grabbed his attention, and Hajime went back over to the console to investigate. 

"Oikawa," he said, frowning at the display. "The temperature's dropping fast. Might be a storm incoming."

There was no reply for several seconds, until finally Oikawa came back. "—interference. Repeat message, Iwa-chan?"

"Oikawa, the temperature is already fifty below. You need to get back to the ship, or find some shelter, right now."

The communicator crackled, but there was no response. Hajime frowned at the display. "Oikawa, come in." Hajime's stomach began to knot. He waited fifteen seconds before trying again. "Oikawa, I repeat, you need to find shelter. Oikawa." Hajime groaned. "Come in, shittykawa!"

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa burst through the static several seconds later. "Don't worry! I'm in a cave."

Hajime snarled. "How is that supposed to stop me worrying?"

To his annoyance, Oikawa laughed. "I won't go very far in, don't panic."

"Nobody's panicking," Hajime snapped, pressing a hand to his chest to feel his own racing heart. "Just don't get lost again, I'm not coming out there to fetch you."

"That's probably for the best," Oikawa sighed. "I don't think you should be traipsing across strange planets on a broken leg."

Hajime scowled. "I wouldn't come after you even if I didn't have this to deal with."

Oikawa chuckled. "Of course you wouldn't, Iwa-chan."

"And stop calling me that," Hajime grumbled.

Another hour passed with little incident, Oikawa checking in every fifteen minutes to ensure Hajime that he was safe. But the longer they sat there, the more the weather began to worsen. Hajime watched the numbers on the console, frantically calculating. Already it would take almost twice as much launch fuel as normal to get them of the surface, and the tank was only half full. Plus, there was no telling how long the storm would last; it could be days, weeks, even months. 

"Oikawa, there's a storm front blowing in," Hajime said, trying to sound calm. "We need to get into orbit."

"Don't worry so much, Iwa-chan!"

"Oikawa—"

There was a pause, and then a shuddering sound.

"Oh, no."

Hajime sat up straighter. "What is that? What's that noise?"

Oikawa took several seconds to respond. "I think—it might be an earthquake?"

"For fuck's sake," Hajime snarled, levering himself out of his seat. "Get the fuck out of that cave, I'm coming to get you."

He grabbed the remaining undamaged exosuit and struggled into it. It took him two or three minutes to don the suit, by which time the wind had begun to scream outside the ship, buffeting the small craft violently. 

"Oikawa," Hajime said, once he'd gotten the suit fastened and checked that it was stable. "How're you doing down there?"

Oikawa's reply was almost thirty seconds in coming, by which time Hajime had strapped himself back into the pilot's seat and was running through some calculations on the console. 

"I don't want you to panic," Oikawa said, and now Hajime could hear the strain pushing through his lighthearted tone. "I know you can be overemotional, too quick to react—"

"Shittykawa!"

"I'm...sort of trapped," Oikawa said, huffing. "I think there was an avalanche, the cave mouth is sealed off."

Hajime groaned. "What about the terrain manipulator on your multi-tool—"

"Well, I've discovered an interesting feature of this particular model," Oikawa said, his tone conversational. "Apparently it freezes over at minus sixty-eight degrees and becomes non-functional."

Hajime's stomach dropped like a stone in normal gravity. "Then—how will you—"

"Didn't I tell you not to panic?" Oikawa said, trying too hard to sound cheerful. "Don't worry about it, I'll think of something."

"Don't do anything stupid," Hajime snarled, reaching for the piloting controls. "I'm coming to get you."

"That's not necessary, Iwa-chan!"

"I didn't ask for your opinion."

Hajime's heart was in his throat as he booted up the ship's piloting and navigation systems. Oikawa had a significant edge over him when it came to piloting, especially with risky, skin-of-the-teeth maneuvers like the one he'd pulled rescuing Hajime from the Neah'u in the last system. With the help of the computer, Hajime quickly calculated how much fuel he needed to use, and what trajectory he needed to launch at to reach Oikawa without being blown off course. 

Hajime leaned on the controls and the ship jerked into the air, kicking against the wind like an injured animal. He wasn't sure yet what exactly he was going to do, but sitting still wasn't an option for either of them. As he fought against the wind to keep the ship on course, he kept half an eye on the tracker showing Oikawa's position. He was several kilometres away, so Hajime soon reached his location at the base of a mountain range, but all he could see was a blanket of white.

"Oikawa?"

"Still here, Iwa-chan." Oikawa sounded out of breath. 

Hajime frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Um—"

"Oikawa!" 

"I'm trying to dig my way out," he said. "Obviously."

Hajime groaned. "You're such an idiot. How's your suit holding up?"

"Ah…" Oikawa hedged. "The less said, the better?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake—"

Still fighting the intense wind, Hajime took the ship lower, hovering just over the surface below. The force of the engines blew sheets of snow into the air, whiting Hajime's already limited vision, and blinding him completely to his surroundings. According to the tracker, Oikawa was almost directly below him, but Hajime did a double take when he saw the numbers on the screen. 

"Oikawa," Hajime said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Oikawa! Come in, you little shit."

"I'm—h-here, Iwa-chan," Oikawa replied. 

Hajime closed his eyes. "You're under nearly two hundred feet of snow."

"Oh," Oikawa said, and to Hajime's horror began to laugh. "N-no—p-problem."

"As soon as I get you out of there," Hajime growled, fighting with the controls to set the ship down again. "I'm going to kill you."

When Hajime landed, the ship sank several feet into the snow, then settled. Once he was sure the craft was secure, Hajime unstrapped himself and limped to the airlock. Thanks to the work of the nanobots and the inertial graphene splint supporting his leg, Hajime was able to walk on his fracture, just about. After what the Neah'u had done to him, Hajime's gait had been different. Almost imperceptibly so, but enough that he knew they had done something subtle to the structure of his hips and lower spine. But he'd adjusted to that quickly enough; the fracture was nothing.

Stepping outside, Hajime found the visibility conditions even worse on the ground than they had been from the cockpit. He put his head down and activated the analysis visor in his helmet. Oikawa was just at the limit of his range, but the visor still picked out his heat signature. Gritting his teeth again, Hajime pulled out his multi-tool and aimed it at the snow. It took him several attempts to find the right setting on the multi-tool's mining laser, but finally he began to make progress, cutting a tunnel down into the snow. 

"Oikawa," he said, in between bursts of the laser. He had to strike a careful balance between letting it overheat, and letting it get too cold. If the multi-tool became non-functional the way Oikawa's had, Hajime would have to dig him out by hand, and they didn't have the time. "Still with me?"

"S-still with you, Iwa-chan."

"Good," Hajime said, gripping the multi-tool more tightly. His leg ached terribly. He wished he'd thought to stim himself before heading down. "Keep talking to me, okay?" he said, doing his best to blot out the pain. "And stop moving around down there, if I'm gonna hit you with a laser I want it to be on purpose."

Oikawa laughed weakly. "You're only m-mean to me to hide your t-true f-feelings, Iwa-chan."

"Fuck, Oikawa," Hajime groaned, his heart pounding in his throat. "How's your life support?"

"Ah—f-fourteen percent?" Oikawa said, voice shaking.

"You idiot," Hajime said. "Didn't I tell you these suits have shitty hazard protection?"

"It's n-not like I m-made it avalanche!"

Hajime kept going, watching the HUD on his visor to keep track of Oikawa's signal. He was closing in now, only fifty feet to go, although his pace was slowing, and it was becoming harder to make his injured leg cooperate. The sloping tunnel he'd created wound around behind him, closing off his view of the surface. With every step, he hoped fervently that there wouldn't be another avalanche. Even just a small shift now could trap them both for good. 

Oikawa was still talking, but as Hajime continued, he began to sing tunelessly instead. 

"What's that?" Hajime asked when Oikawa paused, smiling to himself. 

"J-just s-something I heard—w-when I was younger," Oikawa stammered. 

"It's nice," Hajime said. "Keep going."

Oikawa kept singing as Hajime continued mining. His voice began to grow sluggish and faint, and his heat signature was becoming less vivid on Hajime's HUD. He glanced at the state of his own suit's hazard protection unit. It was depleting more quickly than normal, but he still had plenty of time.

Finally, he neared the spot where Oikawa was trapped, but the signal on his visor was so weak that he couldn't quite pinpoint his companion's location. 

"Oikawa," he called. "Oi, shittykawa, where are you?"

A muffled shout answered him from somewhere off to the right. Hajime raised his multi-tool, but he hesitated at the realisation that he risked hitting Oikawa. He hooked it back on his belt, then reached out to the densely packed snow and began to scrabble at it, pulling it away in large frozen chunks. 

"Oikawa!" 

"Hajime!" 

Oikawa's voice came back to him again, a little louder this time. There was a scuffling, scraping sound, and Hajime began to dig faster, piling the loose snow around his feet. And then his hand touched something solid, and Oikawa's gloved fingers wrapped tightly around his own. Hajime grabbed him with both hands, laughing in relief. 

"Oikawa—you stupid fuck, I can't believe—"

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa gasped. 

Hajime reached in further to grab his shoulders. "Come on, climb through."

With Hajime's help, Oikawa managed to wriggle clumsily out of the little space he'd been sheltering in. There was barely room to move, and Hajime stared for several seconds at the the tiny space in the snow, the place that had almost been Oikawa's grave. Shaking himself, Hajime realised that the tunnel might still end up housing them both indefinitely, and reached for Oikawa.

"We need to get a move on," he said, dragging Oikawa's arm around his neck. "Can you walk?"

Oikawa nodded. He was stiff and slow from having been trapped, but after a few minutes of awkward stumbling he seemed to get his motor functions back under control, and was able to make the climb under his own steam, with the help of his still-functional jetpack. Going up was much faster than coming down, even though Oikawa was weak and uncoordinated, and Hajime's broken leg was beginning to shake. 

When they reached the surface, the storm was overhead, covering the entrance to the tunnel with new snow. Wincing, Hajime unhooked the multi-tool and aimed the laser above their heads. 

"Iwa-chan—"

"Hold on," Hajime said, grabbing hold of Oikawa's shoulder. "We're almost out." He dragged himself out of the hole, flattening his body against the snow, and reached down to help Oikawa clamber out behind him. 

As they straightened up, a brutally cold wind struck them, and Oikawa cried out, falling to his knees. 

"Come on!" Hajime yelled, his voice going hoarse. "Oikawa, come on—"

"It's—so c- _cold_."

"I know. Get a move on."

"D-don't b-be impatient," Oikawa muttered, his voice a slow drawl. He staggered to his feet, clinging to Hajime for support, and between them they managed to get back to the ship. Hajime secured Oikawa in the decon chamber, then staggered to the cockpit and used the last of their launch thruster fuel to take them up through the atmosphere, putting the ship into a low orbit. 

Oikawa began shivering violently as Hajime eased him out of his exosuit in the decon chamber. He was deathly pale, his lips bluish and his limbs stiff and unwieldy. 

"We—r-really n-need to s-stop—m-m-meeting like this," Oikawa stammered, his voice becoming fainter as his body grew heavier. His eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped against Hajime, his body becoming dead weight. 

Hajime winced as he propped Oikawa up using his fractured leg as an anchor. With some difficulty and a lot of swearing, he managed to get them both into the bunk, where he layered up all the blankets and clothing he could lay his hands on. Finally he stripped off his own damp thermal layers, already having removed Oikawa's with a knife. 

"Iwa," Oikawa mumbled, as Hajime climbed back into the bunk with him.

"Shh," Hajime murmured. His chest ached, full of the knowledge of how close he'd come to losing Oikawa this time. He still might, if he couldn't raise Oikawa's core temperature quickly. According to the computer, Oikawa's temperature had been twenty-eight degrees when Hajime dragged him on board.

Hajime crossed Oikawa's hands over his chest, then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Oikawa's skin was cold and clammy, his breathing still weak. Despite his shaking, it felt treacherously good to hold him, and a pleasant tingle ran down Hajime's spine. He sighed without meaning to, then he caught his breath, and tentatively pressed his face against Oikawa's shoulder. 

After a few minutes Oikawa's shivering had lessened slightly. He shifted against Hajime, then pushed his knee between Hajime's thighs, bringing their bodies together more tightly. 

Cold fear gripped Hajime's spine, even as unexpected heat flared through him at the clammy press of their skin. Pressed together like this, there was a good chance Oikawa would notice that there was something wrong with Hajime's body. A faint suspicion tugged at the back of Hajime's mind; he couldn't help but wonder if Oikawa had thought to run a full anatomical scan on him after his injury. If he had, he'd hidden it well.

Hajime thought about telling him the truth, and his stomach clenched with sickness. It wasn't so much the thought of what Oikawa would say, as the prospect of admitting it aloud, of making it real. Hajime had tried so hard to forget everything that had happened on the Neah'u planet. His chest began to ache. Squeezing his eyes shut, Hajime wrapped his arms more tightly around Oikawa, allowing himself to revel in the contact, just for a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning:** Brief reference to torture/injury.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all~ I've been ill for a couple of weeks which means I haven't really been able to write, so I might not be able to get a chapter up next Friday. I'll do my best though :) 
> 
>  
> 
>  **Warnings** in the end notes!

Tooru blinked awake at the hiss of the door opening, and sat upright immediately, his heart hammering in his throat. A small figure was silhouetted in the entryway, tendrils drifting in the air as though moving through water. A cloud of bittersweet gas preceded it into the room. The smell and consistency of the gas emitted by the Neah'u usually changed from moment to moment, and Tooru had theorised that parsing the scent was an integral part of understanding the language. It went some way to explaining why their neural translators had proven useless. 

On the next bed, Iwaizumi still slept, and Tooru debated between waking him, or staying quiet and unobtrusive. The pair hadn't spoken since the previous day. Iwaizumi had been dragged back to their cell hours earlier, already unconscious, and as far as Tooru knew he hadn't yet woken. Tooru had checked his pulse and breathing before going to sleep himself. It was only the second time they had touched.

The Neah'u at the door spoke, its speech registering through Tooru's neural translator as a garbled mash of sounds and half-formed words. It gestured in Tooru's direction and he froze, his hands grasping the edge of the bed.

"No," he whispered, shaking his head. "No, no—"

Three days earlier, the Neah'u had given him some kind of paralytic drug and sliced open his chest and stomach to investigate his organs. He'd been awake for the whole thing, numb and paralysed, but still able to watch. Still able to _hear_. His torso bore raw, red scars that hadn't fully healed yet, though the majority of the physical trauma had already been repaired by efficient nanobots.

The Neah'u advanced into the room, and Tooru's stomach twisted in his chest, everything screaming at him to get up and fight, to run, to do anything to avoid ending up on that table again. It gestured toward him again, and Tooru's eyes flicked toward Iwaizumi, still unconscious, his face peaceful.

"Him," Tooru said, pointing at Iwaizumi. "Take him. Leave me alone, take him instead—"

The bittersweet smell grew stronger and sweeter, and the Neah'u figure moved over to Iwaizumi's bed. The gas enveloped them both, and as Tooru instinctively held his breath, Iwaizumi stirred in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering. As Tooru watched, Iwaizumi blinked awake, and for a moment, their eyes met.

Tooru sat upright with a hoarse shout. 

The lights came up slowly. He was in the bunk on their stolen ship, the sheets pulled tight around his damp thighs. His chest heaved, and his heart was racing. Tooru took several deep breaths to steady himself, looking round as the habitation core gradually brightened around him. 

"Hey," Iwaizumi mumbled. He lifted his head and squinted up at Tooru, who realised for the first time just how closely they were squashed together in the small bunk. "Everything okay?"

Tooru pressed his lips together tightly. "Just a dream," he said, wincing when his voice cracked, his attempt at a carefree tone falling flat. "How are you, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi frowned. "Fine," he said, untangling himself from Tooru and sitting up. 

Their bare skin peeled away from each other with a sticky, unpleasant sensation, and Tooru's eyes widened at the realisation that they were both completely naked. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Iwaizumi asked, stifling a yawn. He climbed out of the bunk, and reached for some thermals, dressing quickly. 

Thoughtlessly, Tooru watched him dress, trailing his eyes over the broad expanse of Iwaizumi's shoulders, then lower to a thin scar at the point where his lumbar and sacral vertebrae connected. He had a brief glimpse of Iwaizumi's hips and tight buttocks, before Iwaizumi slid the thin leggings up to his waist. Next, he reached for a data tablet by the bunk and began to tap away at something. Tooru watched him in profile; the straight line of his wide, flat nose, the ink mark made by his dark eyelashes, the full curve of his lower lip.

"Hey," Iwaizumi said, glancing over his shoulder. 

Tooru looked up sharply, his mouth dry. "What?"

Iwaizumi's eyebrows drew in, dark and heavy above his bright eyes. "I asked if you're okay."

"Oh! It was nothing, Iwa-chan."

"Yeah," Iwaizumi muttered, rolling his eyes. "Of course it was." He put the tablet aside and took a step closer to sit on the edge of the bunk, resting his hand beside Tooru's. "You worried me, Oikawa."

"Iwa-chan," Tooru said, laughing awkwardly and leaning away from him. He pulled up the sheets to cover himself. "It was just a dream—"

"I'm talking about yesterday," Iwaizumi said, frown deepening. "How much do you remember?" 

Tooru reached up to run his fingers through his hair, wincing when he found it stiff with sweat. "Not...much. I remember you yelling at me. We bickered about something—" He frowned. "Nothing in particular—?"

Iwaizumi shrugged. 

"—And then we agreed I would go out and search for plutonium, for the launch thrusters."

He trailed off, and Iwaizumi stared at him expectantly. "And?"

Tooru blinked. "And what?"

Iwaizumi snorted and shook his head. "You went down to the surface, then got yourself stuck in a cave under an avalanche."

Eyes widening, Tooru raised both hands to his face. "I—what? How did I—"

"I dug you out," Iwaizumi grunted, looking away from him. "You almost died, you idiot."

A bolt of horror struck through him. "I—I did?" Tooru asked in a small voice.

"You don't remember," Iwaizumi said flatly.

Tooru shook his head. "Sorry."

"Probably for the best," Iwaizumi muttered. "I just checked, and your vitals look okay. Temperature back to normal, more or less. Just take it easy, alright?"

"Iwa-chan, wait," Tooru said, as Iwaizumi made to get up again. He caught Iwaizumi's wrist and pulled him back to the bunk. His heart was pounding, although he wasn't sure why; all he knew was that he couldn't bear for Iwaizumi to be away from him in that moment. "You—you saved my life," he said. The dream from before still clung to him, weighing on him like the pull of a high gravity planet. Tooru's throat hurt, and he swallowed painfully. "Iwa-ch—Iwaizumi, thank you."

Iwaizumi looked away from him, shoulders pulling up with tension. "I told you before, we get out together."

Tooru shook his head. "I mean it. Iwa—"

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi sighed, turning to him. He blinked up at Tooru, as though surprised to find that they were so close together. His mouth parted, but for several moments he said nothing, instead searching Tooru's eyes with his own. 

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered, leaning closer. 

Iwaizumi closed his eyes. His breath was soft and warm against Tooru's chapped lips. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. 

But when Oikawa leaned in to kiss him, Iwaizumi reared back, turning his head away. 

"No," he said, jumping to his feet. "Don't."

Tooru stared up at him. The weight on his chest grew heavier. "Iwa-chan—"

"That's not my name," Iwaizumi growled, turning his back on Tooru. "Just—stop it, alright? Whatever you think this is, you're wrong."

"But—"

Iwaizumi was shaking his head. "I'm going to finish converting the warp fuel. We'll be at the Gek station within a few hours."

"Alright," Tooru said quietly.

Iwaizumi took a step toward the hatch, then hesitated. "Oikawa," he said, still not turning around. "When we get to the space station. I think it's best we go our separate ways."

With that, he was gone, disappearing through the hatch to the outer ring. Tooru watched until the hatch sealed behind him, and then he curled up on his side, and pulled the sheet tightly around himself.

 

—

 

Conversation between them was sparse until they reached the space station. As Iwaizumi had predicted, it only took a few hours to craft another warp cell, and make the hyperjump to Keitsceh-Inso XIII. The system had only one planet orbiting a small, cold star, while the space station followed a lazy trajectory of its own. The sight of it didn't provide the relief that Oikawa had hoped for.

"They've cleared us for entry," Iwaizumi said when Tooru joined him in the cockpit.

Tooru looked up out of the viewscreen to the enormous structure above them. "What are we going to do with the ship?" he asked, glancing across at Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi shrugged. "We'd probably get a good price if we trade it. Enough to buy a smaller ship and have a handy amount of units left over. I don't mind hitching a ride, if—"

"What are you talking about?" Tooru asked, wincing when his voice shook. His hands were trembling, and he clenched them into fists to hide it. "We get out together, that's what you said."

"We don't need each other," Iwaizumi said, his voice low and furious. 

Heat flushed through Tooru's chest. "Don't be stupid, Iwa-chan, of course we do. If you hadn't got me out of that avalanche—"

"That's different," Iwaizumi snapped. "You're just reckless because you think I'll rescue you every time. If I wasn't around, you'd be more careful." 

Tooru scowled at him. "And what happens next time one of us stumbles across the Neah'u, or they catch up to us?"

"They wouldn't have found us at all last time if you hadn't done all that stupid bullshit with the sentinels!"

"You're the one who wanted to charge in there, guns blazing," Tooru snapped back at him, gesturing angrily. "You'd be a smear in the dust now if I hadn't been there."

Iwaizumi slapped open the harness and pushed himself out of the pilot seat. "Fuck you, Oikawa," he snarled, pushing himself away toward the habitation hatch. "You can take us in. I'm going to pack."

Tooru's eyes burned. He reached out to grab the controls, gripping them too tightly. "Fine," he muttered, gritting his teeth. "Fine."

 

—

 

Tooru didn't wait for Iwaizumi before donning his exosuit and leaving the ship. He was eager to trade in their surplus materials, and to connect to the planetary networks for some news of his colleagues from the scientific mission he'd been part of prior to his capture. He crossed the shining platform from the launchpad and climbed the gangway to the trading hub. As he entered, he passed a tall, dour-looking Vy'keen soldier. The creature eyed Tooru briefly, before pushing past him, paying him no more attention than an insect. 

Carrying on inside, Tooru found the hub mostly deserted. He went immediately to the galactic trade console and punched in the launchpad number, then traded in the majority of the minerals they had collected, watching with relief as the number of trade units climbed in the corner of the display. The emeril was way below market value, but everything else was in demand, and he was able to withdraw a tidy profit. 

As he wrapped up the transaction, a small Gek trader approached him, greeting him with a cloud of sweet gas and a familiar croaking sound. Tooru smiled at the Gek as the neural translator warped his greeting into Tooru's own language. He tried to ignore the way his smile felt brittle and insincere. The Gek didn't encounter his species very often; they might know the broad strokes of his body language, but any subtleties would be lost. 

"Greetings," Tooru said in response, forcing his smile. 

The Gek nodded, and then made an expansive gesture with its arms. "Your ship," it said. "Nice ship." 

"You want to buy it?" Tooru asked, a flicker of hope releasing some of the weight on his chest. The ship was the last thing tying them inexorably to the Neah'u, to that distant planet and the wretched laboratory that haunted his dreams. "It's a great ship. You'd better have a really good offer."

 

—

 

Having made arrangements for the ship and its cargo, Tooru made his way to the habitation deck and reserved a room. Remembering Iwaizumi's words before, he briefly considered reserving an extra room, but decided to leave the onus on his companion. He used the neural link to send Iwaizumi a message, and had just made himself comfortable when his companion finally arrived, stepping through the airlock with a disgruntled look on his face. 

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Tooru said, sitting back in his seat. 

Iwaizumi looked around uncomfortably, then slowly reached up to remove his visor. "What happened?" he asked, setting his helmet down on a nearby surface. 

"I sold the minerals," Tooru said, fluffing up his hair with one hand. "And I met a delightful Gek merchant who wants to take the ship off our hands. He doesn't have anything to trade, but he made us a _very_ handsome offer, so we can either hitch a ride or buy something new."

Iwaizumi frowned. "I see. So you're leaving?" 

"I didn't say that," Tooru murmured, watching him closely. "But there aren't a lot of scientific prospects on a station like this. Not to mention, we should probably put some parsects between ourselves and that ship." 

"Yeah," Iwaizumi said with a grimace. "Not a bad idea." 

Tooru rolled his eyes and got to his feet. "I'm not just a pretty face, Iwa-chan," he said, crossing the room to pick up the bag of supplies he'd bought. 

"Would you stop that?" Iwaizumi snarled. 

Tooru paused, turning to him with wide eyes. "Stop what?"

"Saying things like that," Iwaizumi said, tugging off the gloves of his exosuit and tossing them on the floor beside him. "Calling me stupid nicknames, and—and talking to me like—"

"Like what?" Tooru asked, taking a step toward Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi's scowl deepened. "I don't know. Like we're—something."

"Something?" Tooru asked, his gaze hardening. "Aren't we _something_ by now?"

For the briefest moment, Iwaizumi flinched. His bare fingers clenched into a fist at his side. 

"Iwa," Tooru said, voice softening. He stepped closer, reaching out. "Talk to me."

"Don't," Iwaizumi said, flinching away again, eyes wide. His chest rose and fell quickly as his breathing became more audible. 

"What's wrong with you?" Tooru asked, staring at him. 

Iwaizumi shook his head. "I don't—you wouldn't understand."

"How can I understand anything if you won't _talk_ to me?" Tooru shouted. He watched Iwaizumi closely, studying his fearful expression, noting the trickle of sweat that ran down from his hairline. Tooru sighed, shoulders sagging. "Iwa-chan. What happened to getting out together?" 

"Oikawa—" Iwaizumi whispered, still watching him with wide eyes.

Tooru pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, turning his gaze aside. "I'm sorry for what happened in the lab."

Iwaizumi took half a step toward him. "Oikawa, no—"

"Isn't that what this is all about?"

" _No_ ," Iwaizumi said, voice climbing. He reached up to unfasten the clasps on his exosuit, tugging at it with short, impatient movements. "Leave it alone—"

"Just talk to me!" Tooru said, reaching out to put a hand on his chest. 

Iwaizumi shoved him away, breathing hard. "Don't."

"What are you afraid of?" Tooru demanded. He reached out, and Iwaizumi slapped his hand away again. Scowling, Tooru stepped forward and shoved him with both hands. 

Iwaizumi stumbled back a step, and then his eyes narrowed. "Fuck off, Oikawa!" he snarled, advancing on him. He seized handfuls of Tooru's shirt, shoving him back several feet. "Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"I'm not going to leave you!" Tooru shouted.

An agonising silence followed his words. They stared at one another, Iwaizumi searching his face with rapid, darting eye movements. His hands were still fisted tightly in Tooru's shirt, and his green eyes were wide and bright, wetness gathered in the corners. His mouth was open, breaths still coming heavy. 

"Iwa," Tooru murmured, reaching up to grab handfuls of Iwaizumi's exosuit. 

Iwaizumi made a choked sound, a small crease appearing between his thick eyebrows. "Oikawa—" His hand moved up, touching Tooru's throat, and then the curve of his jaw. "'Kawa—"

Iwaizumi's mouth was hot, his skin tasting of sweat against Tooru's tongue. Tooru groaned as Iwaizumi's tongue parted his mouth, teeth scraping his lower lip. And then as Tooru closed his eyes, sinking into it, Iwaizumi fisted a hand in his hair and yanked his head back.

"Ah—!" Tooru yelped. 

"I—" Iwaizumi's bottom lip quivered. His mouth and cheeks were flushed red. "We can't."

"Iwa-chan," Tooru whispered. "You're hurting me."

Iwaizumi released his grip slowly. His hands were shaking. 

Tooru knew that he should pull away, but instead he leaned in again, sliding his hands up to cup Iwaizumi's face as they kissed. His cheeks were hot beneath Tooru's palms, and he moaned when Tooru deepened the kiss, leaning into him. 

"Off," Tooru mumbled, reaching down to fumble with the loose clasps on Iwaizumi's exosuit. 

After a moment, Iwaizumi's hands joined his, and between them they managed to wrestle him out of the suit, barely waiting for it to hit the floor before their hands were on each other again. Tooru's heart was hammering, and his stomach lurched pleasantly when he moved his hands lower and Iwaizumi gasped against his lips. 

"Iwa," Tooru murmured, running his fingers under the hem of Iwaizumi's thermal shirt. 

Iwaizumi shuddered against him and buried his face in Tooru's shoulder. After a moment, his fingers trailed up Tooru's spine, sending a shiver through him. It was a long time since Tooru had been touched with such gentleness, and the sensation made heat rush to his face. At the same time, blood surged between his legs, so sudden and insistent that he was certain Iwaizumi would notice his burgeoning erection. 

But Iwaizumi only held him more tightly, pushing his fingers into Tooru's hair again, clinging to him as though they were the last two people in the universe. 

"What I said before," Iwaizumi said at last, his voice muffled in Tooru's shoulder. 

Tooru closed his eyes. "You mean the part where you never want to see me again?" 

Iwaizumi nodded. "I'm an asshole." His fingers dug into Tooru's back. "I'm sorry." 

"No," Tooru murmured, throwing aside caution and pulling Iwaizumi tightly against him. "I'm the one who should apologise."

Wordlessly, Iwaizumi shook his head. "Don't," he mumbled. "Just don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning:** Brief reference to medical procedure/related body horror. Oikawa has a flashback to being operated on under local anasthesia.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☆ ～('▽^人)

Hajime barely remembered going to sleep. His memories were a blur of heat and touch, of the scent of Oikawa's skin and the taste of his mouth. They hadn't done much more than kiss and hold each other, and Hajime woke to find himself stiff, his limbs still tangled with Oikawa's.

For a few brief moments, he felt content. But as he came fully awake he noticed a subtle but insistent pressure between his legs, something similar but not quite the same as the feeling of waking up with an erection. Oikawa shifted against him, letting loose a low groan, and as Hajime turned his head he caught the scent of Oikawa's hair against his shoulder. The pressure between his legs intensified; a fierce sort of tingling that was accompanied by a sickening dampness. Wincing, Hajime squirmed in place, squeezing his thighs together tightly to try and dispel his uncomfortable hyper-awareness of the offending parts. 

His movements stirred his companion, and Oikawa rolled over to look at him, blinking slowly awake. 

"Hey," Oikawa murmured, his pink mouth pulling up at the corner. He sighed and nuzzled into Hajime's armpit. "I slept terribly. You?" 

Hajime grimaced. "Yeah. Me too." 

Oikawa's fingers played over his ribs, ticklish and too intimate. 

Hajime jerked away from him. "I—I should get up."

"What for?" Oikawa asked, not quite relinquishing his hold. He leaned in slightly and propped his chin on Hajime's chest. "We don't have anywhere to be, and I don't think the Neah'u are likely to find us in the next few hours. We could just…stay in bed." 

His dark gaze held Hajime close, fusing him in place. The heat of his body, so unfamiliar and so very welcome, made Hajime's heart pound.

"I—"

Hajime trailed off, and Oikawa's gaze lowered. 

"It's okay," Oikawa said, meeting his eyes again with a tight smile. His hands withdrew, leaving Hajime's skin cool and tingling in the absence of his touch. "I'm sure there are things you want to do before we leave."

"Yeah," Hajime mumbled, grateful for the reprieve. He turned, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and trying to ignore the pulsing sensation behind his balls. In that moment, every movement made him hyper aware of his altered biology, of the soft, slick folds of skin, and the discomfort of his underwear rubbing against him. 

Alone in the bathroom, Hajime eased off his clothes and climbed into the shower, where he squatted on his heels and let the water pound down on him. His breath scraped in his throat as he reached down between his legs. Wincing, Hajime nudged his limp penis aside and ventured further back, to where the flesh grew velvety and damp. It ached for touch, and he gently stroked the outer lips of his vulva with a mix of anticipation and repulsion. 

Hajime closed his eyes. Although he didn't want it to, his mind wandered back to Oikawa, thinking of the proximity and heat between them when he'd woken. Something inside him clenched, and ached, and the feeling only intensified when he pressed his knuckles against the slippery flesh of his cunt. The heat and the ache inside were almost painful, like pressing on a toothache. Gritting his teeth, Hajime pushed a finger inside. 

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa called suddenly. His voice was loud; he must have been standing right outside the door. "Don't be long, I'm dying for a piss!" 

Heart hammering, Hajime tore his hand away from himself. "Alright!" he yelled back, scowling at the door. His calves screamed with the effort of squatting, and Hajime took a deep breath before pushing to his feet. 

He finished washing himself quickly, though he took a few moments to put his hand between his legs again, and rinse away the stickiness. Oikawa was waiting when Hajime stepped out of the room in clean clothes, and he ran his eyes over Hajime in a slow drag, hunger haunting his expression. Blood rushed to Hajime's ears, and he turned away before the blush could spread to his face. Being close to Oikawa again made Hajime want to lean into him, to pull him close and press their bodies together; he wanted to learn the shape of Oikawa's voice in the darkness, and feel him shake with pleasure, quivering on the edge of ecstasy. 

But to do those things, he would have to show Oikawa what he was. What he had been made into. 

"Come on, Iwa-chan," Oikawa chirped, emerging from the bathroom. "Let's go and explore this place."

Hajime swallowed thickly. He wanted to run. To take a running leap and dive out of the nearest airlock. He wanted the cold, dead silence of the empty space around them. Instead his mouth pulled into a rictus and he nodded. "Alright."

 

—

 

The station was vast, and although much of it was storage, or hangar space, or habitation levels that would have been inhospitable to them without their exosuits, there was still a great deal to explore. They went first to the trading hub that Oikawa had visited the day before. Although there was no real delineation of day and night aboard the station, clearly they had emerged in a quiet period of the cycle, as the hub was sparsely populated. A few Gek and Vy'keen sat around, either alone or in small groups, talking amongst themselves, while one gathering were playing a particularly rowdy game that Hajime wasn't familiar with. 

"Hey," he murmured, nudging Oikawa's arm. "You recognise that?"

But Oikawa wasn't listening. Hajime followed his gaze to a far corner of the space and his eyes widened when he recognised a lone Korvax sitting by themselves.

"Oikawa," Hajime said in a low voice.

"Just a minute, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said breathily. 

Hajime rolled his eyes. "They're not gonna talk to you."

"They won't talk to _you_ , maybe," Oikawa sniffed. 

A faint sense of unease rippled through Hajime. He couldn't pinpoint whether it was a specific feeling, or just the impersonal, blank face of the Korvax that set him on edge, but he had the sudden conviction that they should move on. "Oikawa," he murmured, stepping closer to Oikawa and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you wanna talk shop, but we're still on the run, remember? Don't you think we're going to...stand out, a little?"

Oikawa's face hardened, his excitement draining. "Right." He sighed, pouting. "And here I was, wanting to impress you with my connections."

Hajime snorted, and gave him another nudge. "The last time you wanted to impress me, you got stuck under a glacier."

Oikawa squawked. "I did not. It was an avalanche, I could hardly have predicted it."

"You could've paid closer attention to the seismic activity."

"Yes, well," Oikawa muttered, his expression darkening. "I could have done a lot of things." He turned his back on the Korvax agent and stepped close to Hajime again. "Come on," he said, his fingers shivering down the side of Hajime's arm, the suggestion of a touch through his exosuit. "Let's find something fun to do."

 

—

 

They walked from one section to the next. The station was small and almost antique compared to some of the facilities they had each visited before, but it had a decrepit, jerry-rigged charm that reminded them both of home. After passing through one of the huge ship hangars, Oikawa caught hold of Hajime's wrist and tugged him over toward a viewing platform that looked out at the lonely planet filling the space above them. 

"I never get tired of a sight like this," Oikawa sighed, gazing up with eyes wide behind his visor. He leaned forward, pressing his hands against the glass, his eyes tracking the launch arc of several small craft as they curved away from the station in a synchronous flight path. He laughed and pointed, his face alight with wonderment as a caravan of freighters dropped out of hyperspace, appearing in the sky between one blink and the next. "Maybe we could hitch a ride on one of those freighters," Oikawa mused. "We'd be harder to track that way, and they might have a science arm we could latch onto."

"Yeah," Hajime said, watching Oikawa. "Maybe."

Oikawa laughed again. "We could go anywhere," he said, still watching the ships. His tone turned wistful. "We could be free of all of this."

A cold fist closed around Hajime's insides. "Free," he murmured, putting his own hand up against the window. Beyond the glass, the caravan of freighters drifted—perpendicular to the station so that they hung nose up from Hajime and Oikawa's perspective—and beyond them was the heavy, dark shadow of the planet above, and beyond that—an incomprehensible, endless expanse of nothing. But no matter where they ran to, Hajime couldn't outrun his biology.

"Don't look so down in the dumps, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, grinning at him.

Hajime forced out a breath, and turned to look at Oikawa again. Despite everything that had happened, Oikawa was still bright and hopeful, eager for praise, obsessed with learning, and more generous than he would have admitted. Hajime couldn't help but fall into his gravity.

"Let's go back," Hajime said, stepping back from the window.

Oikawa turned to him. "Oh," he sighed, a gentle smile touching his face. "Yes, let's."

 

—

 

They were on each other the moment they had struggled out of their exosuits. Hajime seized Oikawa's upper arms and pushed him back against the nearest wall, pinning him there with his weight. Oikawa stared back at him, mouth parted and eager. Sighing, Hajime leaned in, and their lips met in a clumsy, urgent kiss. He released his grip on Oikawa's arms, sliding his hands up to tangle in his hair instead

"Iwa," Oikawa gasped, clutching at him. His fingers dug into Hajime's skin through his thin clothing, pulling at it impatiently. "Iwa—I need—" He trailed off into a high, sharp noise when Hajime bit down on the side of his neck. "Nn—that's—a good start."

Hajime pressed a feral grin into Oikawa's throat. "Bed," he growled, fingers clenched tight in Oikawa's hair.

They stumbled across the room, clumsily shedding their clothing, until Oikawa reached for Hajime's underwear and Hajime caught his wrist, stopping him with a frown. 

"What is it?" Oikawa murmured, falling back half a step. He tilted his head, trying to catch Hajime's eye. "Iwa?"

"Not—" Hajime swallowed. "Not yet." 

Oikawa's expression softened. "Okay," he said lightly, reaching for Hajime's wrist instead. "Come on."

Settling on the bed together, they soon fell back into the rhythm of the previous night, trading slow, heated kisses. Hajime tried to keep his hips angled away, but Oikawa kept drawing him in closer, pressing their bodies together, and despite his fear of Oikawa finding out, Hajime didn't have it in him to resist. Still, he refused a to let Oikawa take charge, pushing back when Oikawa grew bold, pressing him down into the bed with his hands and hips. He did his best to ignore the tingling heat between his legs. 

Oikawa's fingers slithered down his spine, and paused when they reached the thin scar over his lower back. One fingertip traced back and forth along it, and Hajime jerked away, eyes wide. 

"Don't," he muttered. 

Oikawa's expression was torn, his brow creasing. He nodded, sliding his hand back up to Hajime's shoulder with a whispered apology. "Want to stop?" 

Hajime gritted his teeth and shook his head. 

Oikawa's smile was gentle. "Alright." 

Carefully, he rolled Hajime onto his back, kissing at his neck and the underside of his jaw while his hand ventured down over his chest, and then his stomach. Hajime shuddered when Oikawa's hand brushed against the edge of his underwear. Holding his gaze, Oikawa kept going, moving the palm of his hand lightly over the swell of Hajime's erection, touching him through his underwear. 

Hajime bit his lip hard, his back arching a few degrees. 

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered against Hajime's neck, his voice hot and close.

The sensation of his breath against Hajime's skin made goosebumps ripple down his arms, and he turned his head to catch Oikawa in another messy kiss, pulling at him, pushing his tongue deep into Oikawa's mouth. After so long without touch, Hajime's body was as taut as suspension wire, yet he still instinctively wanted to turn away, to hide the truth about his body. It wasn't possible. Every point of contact between their bodies made him crave more, begging wordlessly with his movements and sounds and the insistent grip of his hands on Oikawa's body.

Groaning softly, Oikawa pressed closer, his own erection hot against Hajime's thigh, and ground down on Hajime's cock with the heel of his hand. Heat shuddered through Hajime's gut, and that same shivery ache from hours before returned tenfold. His cunt clenched in delicious agony, sending tremors through his body, and making his cock jump and pulse liquid.

Oikawa exhaled heavily, rolling his palm in a circle over Hajime's cock. "Iwa," Oikawa moaned, tucking his nose just behind the corner of Hajime's jaw. "F-fuck, Iwa-chan." His hand moved up, and then he started to edge his fingers into Hajime's underwear.

"Wait, wait," Hajime gasped, reaching down to still Oikawa's hand. 

Oikawa lifted his head slightly. "Too much?" 

Hajime shook his head, and then nodded. "Sorry, I'm—I can't yet." 

"That's alright," Oikawa murmured, a carefully neutral expression overtaking his features. He caught Hajime's eye and gave him a weak smile. "It's alright, Iwa-chan. I understand."

 _No you don't_ , Hajime thought sadly. He put his hand on Oikawa's shoulder and pushed him over onto his back. "Let me try," he said, pushing up on his elbow, and then moving his weight over Oikawa. He moved down, taking Oikawa's underwear as he went, kissing the prominent curve of his hip bone, the trail of dark hair below his navel. When he took Oikawa's cock in his mouth, Oikawa groaned and tilted his hips up, and Hajime moved his hand around on the bed until he found Oikawa's fingers and linked them with his own.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa sighed, clutching Hajime's hand tightly. "Iwa—"

 

—

 

Oikawa slept after, but Hajime was restless. He donned his exosuit again and went back to the trading hub, before wandering around the station for an hour or two. He could still feel the phantom sensation of Oikawa's skin against his hands, and he was pent up and twitchy from having been so turned on twice in one day without finding any kind of release. What's more, the panic that he'd been pushing down since the previous day began to bubble up, choking him, crawling over his skin. The thought of leaving Oikawa made him feel sick, but the idea of Oikawa leaving him was even worse. 

He had to tell Oikawa the truth about what had happened, that was obvious now more than ever. 

Oikawa was awake when he returned. Hajime stripped out of his exosuit and then stood, frozen, unsure of how to proceed. Oikawa was lying on the bed they had shared, wearing only his underwear, and he beckoned Hajime closer. "Come over here, Iwa-chan," he said, his gaze heavy. 

Hajime's fingers clenched at his sides. He shook his head. "There's…something I haven't told you."

"You _are_ human, aren't you?" Oikawa joked, but his brow creased with concern as he sat up on the bed. 

"It's about what happened in the lab," Hajime said. His voice shook slightly, and he gritted his teeth, trying not to let his fear take over. "I should have told you sooner." 

Oikawa looked back at him, eyes wide and his mouth parted. "Then—tell me, Iwa-chan."

Hajime closed his eyes. He wanted to be sick. "The Neah'u scientists," he said in a halting voice.

"What is it?" Oikawa pressed, when Hajime was silent.

Hajime gritted his teeth again. His stomach was churning. 

"Iwa," Oikawa said, his voice very soft. 

Hajime made the mistake of meeting his gaze briefly. Oikawa stared back at him, eyes wide, his face very pale. Bile rose in Hajime's throat and he looked quickly away. 

Oikawa reached out, his hand hovering scant centimetres from Hajime's arm. "They—did something to you," he said, stumbling through the sentence. His gaze was heavy on Hajime's skin, pressing down on him. "Didn't they?"

Opening his mouth, Hajime found that he didn't know how to begin. The urge to throw up was still sharp. He clamped his jaw shut again and gave a brief, tight nod. 

Finally, Oikawa's hand came down gently on his arm. Even though he'd seen it coming, Hajime still flinched, and Oikawa snatched his hand away immediately. "Iwa," he said at last, squaring his shoulders. "I'm not going to push you, but—can you tell me? Or—or could you write it?"

Hajime chewed his bottom lip, briefly seized with regret. He could have said it was an injury, now long since healed, or perhaps some kind of torture he'd been subjected to. After what had happened to them under the Neah'u's care, he had his pick of options to blame for the lingering effects of PTSD. 

"I can show you," he croaked, and hoped that he hadn't made a terrible, terrible decision. 

Oikawa nodded, still watching him with a hunted expression. "Alright."

Looking down at his feet, Hajime slipped off the thermal trousers he was wearing, pushing them to his ankles. 

"Iwa-chan—?" Oikawa said, startled.

"I—I can't—say it," Hajime muttered, wincing. He lay down on the bed that Oikawa had vacated, and drew his knees up, spreading his legs wide. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he could feel sweat beginning to trickle down the back of his neck. 

Oikawa was staring at him, his eyes wide and his mouth parted slightly. He looked ready to bolt at the slightest provocation. When Hajime reached down, Oikawa's gaze followed the movement, watching as he pulled his penis and testicles out of the way. Hajime looked away, unable to bear whatever he might see on Oikawa's face. 

The seconds were interminably long. The unfamiliar give and softness of the flesh beneath his fingers made Hajime want to retch. 

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered, moving closer. "Is that—?"

Hajime's throat burned. He bit his lip hard. "They—wanted us to—"

"Oh," Oikawa interrupted softly. "Of course." His breath was warm on Hajime's thighs, sending a shiver through him. "Is it just—" He paused, and swallowed audibly. "What I can see?"

Hajime shook his head. "I ran, uh—an anatomical scan. On the ship. I—have all of it. The whole...system."

Oikawa's eyes widened again briefly, then his eyebrows drew into a frown. "The blood." He looked up at Hajime. "You were menstruating?" 

Hajime nodded wordlessly. 

"So, you really could get—?"

"I think so, yeah. " 

"Oh, wow."

Hajime scowled at him. "Have you seen enough yet?" he snapped.

For a moment Oikawa looked surprised, but then his nose wrinkled and he narrowed his eyes. "Were you just going to keep hiding this from me?"

"I just told you, didn't I?"

"Do you know how long it's been since we escaped?" Oikawa's voice climbed as he spoke, rising in pitch and volume. "This kind of—of physical alteration, hormonal manipulation, it's at the very limits of our own technology—"

"You think I don't realise that?" Hajime snapped.

"Then you should realise that you can't just—just ignore this! There could be something seriously wrong!"

Hajime looked away, his face hot. "There's nothing wrong. I've checked and checked, I'm _fine_." He took a sharp breath. "I'm just...different."

Oikawa's face fell. "I'm sorry."

"I should, uh—" Hajime muttered, gesturing toward his clothes and pulling his knees together. He rolled over, reaching for his trousers. "I don't expect you to do anything about this, I just—thought you should know."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, looking wretched. "I'm so sorry—"

"Don't," Hajime said, his voice shaking. "Just—stop. It's not your fault. It could have been either one of us."

Oikawa winced. "Right."

Hajime stood up, dressing again quickly, re-donning his exosuit. He kept his eyes averted from Oikawa's, and Oikawa didn't stop him when he snatched up his data tablet and left the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorta. This is probably gonna run to 10 chapters, I should've known my original estimate of 6 was way too optimistic.

After Iwaizumi had gone, Tooru sat and stared at the sealed door between them. His mind was a jumble. He kept flashing back to the image of Iwaizumi reclining on the bed, of his blunt-nailed fingers spreading that soft, red flesh. And then he remembered the scent of the Neah'u's questioning emissions; Iwaizumi unconscious on the bed beside him; the brief moment when their eyes met before Iwaizumi was taken away.

It all made a terrible sense. Iwaizumi's long recovery time after they had finally returned him to the cell. His secrecy. The way he flinched every time Tooru came too close. 

Tooru shuddered hard. He put his hands over his face and dug into his eye sockets with the knuckles of his thumbs, trying to eradicate the barrage of images. He was angry. Angry with Iwaizumi for hiding it for so long, and angry with the Neah'u for damaging him so completely. Tooru's mind presented him with a brief, vivid alternative; himself in Iwaizumi's place, changed without consent, intended to be bred like livestock. 

The little food that Tooru had eaten roiled in his chest, and he stumbled across the room to empty his stomach in the toilet. It had been weeks since they left the Neah'u base, yet Iwaizumi had borne this silently since well before their escape. Again, Tooru pictured the slick pink flesh Iwaizumi had shown him, marveling that he'd kept such a thing secret for so long. He thought of Iwaizumi's earlier hesitation in bed with a wince. Tooru had been careless. He had known that something was wrong with Iwaizumi, but had foolishly thought he could help. Or perhaps he had only craved warmth and comfort, the way Iwaizumi had. 

After rinsing his mouth, Tooru returned to the bed and flopped down on his stomach. He couldn't help but feel that he'd made a mess of things. Even aside from the conviction that this was his fault. They hadn't been friends when Tooru told the Neah'u to take Iwaizumi instead of him, but even if they had been, Tooru wasn't sure he could have done things differently. The knowledge kept the nausea stirring in his chest, and eventually he pulled out his data tablet and began to pull all the information he could find on human anatomy and hormonal manipulation. 

Iwaizumi was gone so long that Tooru eventually went out to look for him. As he dressed, he was overtaken by the sudden, horrifying conviction that Iwaizumi had already found a ship and set off without him. He didn't answer Tooru's attempts to hail him over the neural link, and the roaring in Tooru's ears grew louder and louder. It was a relief when he finally found Iwaizumi by chance. He was standing on the viewing platform they had visited hours before, gazing out at the infinite sky. The station's orbit had taken them away from the nearby planet, so there was nothing in view except distant stars. Tooru watched him for several moments before he found his voice. 

"Iwa-chan." 

"Hey," Iwaizumi said, without turning to face him.

"I tried to raise you."

Iwaizumi grunted softly. "I didn't feel like talking."

Tooru bit his lip. "Mind if I join you now?" 

Iwaizumi shrugged. 

Gathering his courage, Tooru walked over and stood beside him. They stood together for several minutes in silence, looking out at the dark void beyond. It wasn't a comfortable silence, however, and the pressure in Tooru's throat increased until the words came spilling out. 

"I'm so sorry, Iwaizumi. I know that isn't what you want me to say, but I am. I'm sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry for—" 

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi interrupted, sighing heavily. "I get it, but don't. It doesn't help." 

"Alright." 

Iwaizumi nodded, and they lapsed into silence once more. 

"You know," Tooru ventured. "I was thinking, if we could find a Korvax outpost, even just an exploration mission, they might be able to help." 

"Help?" 

"You know," Tooru said. "To reverse it." 

Iwaizumi was silent. 

"It's a long shot," Tooru went on. "But if—" 

"What makes you think," Iwaizumi said, speaking slowly, "I want to reverse it?" 

Tooru blinked at him. "Don't you?" 

Iwaizumi made a frustrated sound. "Are you stupid? It was enough to go through it all once." 

"But—" 

"Just stop, Oikawa. I know you want to—to _fix_ everything, but there are some things that can't be fixed." 

Tooru exhaled slowly. "I don't think you need fixing, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi snorted. "Of course you don't."

"Really," Tooru insisted, reaching out for Iwaizumi's arm. He caught hold of his wrist lightly, and when Iwaizumi didn't pull away, Tooru moved closer. "I don't want to _change_ you. I just want to help."

"You _can't_ ," Iwaizumi said, his voice cracking. "You can't do anything. Neither of us can."

"Iwa," Tooru sighed, trying to pull him closer. His chest ached, and he longed to pull Iwaizumi into his arms and never let him go. "I don't think any differently of you. You know that, right?"

Iwaizumi shrugged again. 

Nodding, Tooru finally released him. "Okay. I'll give you some space."

 

—

 

For several days, Iwaizumi was quiet and closed off. He fidgeted in Tooru's company, and slipped away from his touch like warm mercury running over a smooth surface. 

Tooru comforted himself with the images his mind conjured incessantly, and with the scent of Iwaizumi's hair as he slept. Everything he tried, every attempt to trick his brain into forgetting, he came back irrevocably to that forbidden little cleft of flesh between Iwaizumi's legs. Tooru had never desired anything as much as he did Iwaizumi. It consumed him. He wanted to chart the shapes and rhythms of Iwaizumi's body, to taste the brine of his pleasure. 

He thought about his fingers delving between Iwaizumi's thighs, wondering what it would feel like, whether Iwaizumi would let him. The obsession formed a heavy pit in his chest; he craved the rest of Iwaizumi's body just as much, but although he longed to explore, he feared Iwaizumi would hate him for it. 

After they had been on the station for a week, Tooru received a communication from a Vy'keen commander whose freighter had been docked at the station for the past twelve hours. 

"Huh." 

"What is it?" Iwaizumi asked, not looking up. 

Tooru frowned. "We got invited to join the scientific contingent on that Vy'keen freighter." 

Iwaizumi glanced over. "Since when are the Vy'keen interested in scientists?" 

"Don't be racist, Iwa-chan," Tooru scolded. "They're not *all* bloodthirsty honour-hounds." 

"News to me." Iwaizumi sat up and stretched, and Tooru tried to ignore the way his shirt rode up, forcing himself not to think about the trail of dark hair that led down from his navel. "Oikawa." 

"Mm?" 

Scowling, Iwaizumi yanked his shirt back down. "My eyes are up here, asshole." 

Tooru grinned. "And your eyes are beautiful too, Iwa-chan!" 

To his surprise, a blush spread over Iwaizumi's cheeks. "Shut up," Iwaizumi growled. "Don't take the piss." 

Tooru's eyes widened. "But I wasn't." 

"I get it," Iwaizumi mumbled, looking away. "We're stuck together, you don't have any better options." 

"What?" Tooru murmured, staring at him. His heart hammered. "Is that—all this is to you?" 

Iwaizumi's frown deepened. "That's not—I mean. What—what is it to you?" 

Tooru bit the inside of his cheek. Sharing his feelings wasn't something that came naturally; Tooru was prone to speaking his mind only when it came to others, but thinking of Iwaizumi's behaviour over the past few days, the courage it must have taken to finally tell him the truth, Tooru knew that he didn't have a choice.

"If I didn't care about you," Tooru said, his voice unsteady, "I would've left you the minute we reached the station. Maybe even before that."

"But—I'm not—" Iwaizumi began, cutting himself off with a frustrated sigh. "I'm not _normal_."

Tooru laughed. "I don't care about _that_."

Iwaizumi grimaced. "Oikawa—"

"Iwa-chan," Tooru said. He crept closer, reaching out to cup Iwaizumi's face carefully. "I don't care about that. You—you're the most noble creature I've ever met, and you're kind and intelligent, and you make me laugh." He sighed, brushing his thumb over Iwaizumi's full lower lip. "And you're _ever_ so nice to look at."

Again, Iwaizumi's cheeks flushed a violent pink. He tore away from Tooru's grasp, groaning. "You're embarrassing."

"Who do you have to be embarrassed by?" Tooru asked, sitting down beside him. "It's just us, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi took a deep breath and sighed, and then finally he looked up, a crooked smile softening his face. "Me too," he said, watching Tooru with quiet warmth in his gaze.

Tooru blinked. "Me too what?"

"I care about you too," Iwaizumi said, his smile widening. "Even if sometimes I'm not sure why."

"Iwa-chan, don't be mean to me!" Tooru protested, laughing. "I'm being so nice to you."

"You're an idiot," Iwaizumi said, reaching over to him. He grabbed Tooru around the waist and flopped him back onto the bed, gazing into his eyes when they landed together on the pillows. Iwaizumi sighed. "I don't get how someone so smart can be so dumb."

Tooru sniffed. "Iwa-chan can be pretty stupid too."

Iwaizumi nodded. "Yeah, he can." He shifted closer, wrapping his arm around Tooru's waist. "Are you going to take that offer to join the Vy'keen freighter?"

"You mean are _we_ going to take that offer?"

"Right."

"I don't mind. If you want to buy a ship of our own instead, maybe we could just keep travelling."

Iwaizumi's nose wrinkled. "And go where?"

Tooru shrugged. "Anywhere. Somewhere safe. Or just somewhere else."

"I don't really care where we go," Iwaizumi murmured. He ducked his head, nosing at Tooru's jaw. "I'll go wherever you go."

"Iwa-chan," Tooru said, laughing softly. "That's so...romantic."

"Don't ruin it, bastard," Iwaizumi growled.

Tooru laughed again, slipping his arms around Iwaizumi's chest. "I like it." He pulled Iwaizumi closer, sighing happily when Iwaizumi rested his head on his shoulder. The contact was good, warming him thoroughly, and he breathed Iwaizumi in deeply as they held one another. It reminded him of the brief days before they arrived at the station, when they had lain close together in the ship's tiny bunk while they recovered from their injuries. 

"Iwa-chan," Tooru murmured, running his hand lazily up and down Iwaizumi's spine. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Iwaizumi muttered, but he didn't sound annoyed, and he snuggled closer as he said it, pressing his face against Tooru's shoulder. 

Tooru grinned, reaching up to ruffle his fingers through Iwaizumi's hair, before stroking down his back again. "The other day," he murmured, fingers toying at the hem of Iwaizumi's shirt. "You wouldn't let me touch you. Is that because you didn't want me to find out, or…?"

Iwaizumi tensed in his arms. He took several rapid breaths before finally speaking. "I...didn't want you to find out."

"I understand," Tooru murmured. His fingers touched the scar on Iwaizumi's lower back, and Iwaizumi flinched, but this time he didn't tell Tooru to stop. "You know," Tooru said lightly. "If you want...I'd really like to make you feel good."

For several moments Iwaizumi didn't react. He was still rigid in Tooru's arms, his fingers digging into Tooru's back through his shirt. Finally, slowly, he lifted his head. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

 

—

 

Tooru had experienced very little physical contact with others since leaving home, but falling into the rhythm of sex with Iwaizumi came easier than he expected. Iwaizumi was stiff and awkward at first, his movements stilted, and Tooru was careful to let him lead, wary of pushing too hard. They undressed each other slowly, with none of their haste from before. Tooru savoured each moment; he kissed Iwaizumi's neck, shoulder, wrist; he ran his fingers through Iwaizumi's hair and kissed his mouth slowly, the contact hot and vital; he stroked their tongues together, tilting Iwaizumi's face with the gentle pressure of his fingers. Each touch made him crave more, made desire sing through his veins, turning his thoughts into a haze of heat and need. 

When they had stripped to their underwear and lay together on the bed, limbs entangled, Tooru turned Iwaizumi's head again and kissed over his neck and throat. Iwaizumi sighed and shuddered in his arms, at least as starved for touch as Tooru was himself. One of his heels rubbed in the crook of Tooru's knee, while his thighs bracketed him loosely, their erections heavy and insistent between them. 

"Is this alright?" Tooru murmured, shifting down to run his mouth over Iwaizumi's chest, smiling at the fine, dark hair that tickled his face. He stroked one of his thumbs over Iwaizumi's nipple. "Do you like this?"

Iwaizumi nodded, biting his lip. His eyes were dark and heavy, his thick brows drawn in and his cheeks flushed. Tooru ran his hand over Iwaizumi's toned stomach, reaching the hem of his underwear before sliding back up again to touch his throat. 

"I could—we can just—do what we did the other day," Iwaizumi ventured. His fists clenched in the sheets at his sides.

Tooru reached over and gently pushed his fingers into Iwaizumi's hand, uncurling it and interlacing their fingers. "I told you," he murmured, nuzzling the dark brown shape of Iwaizumi's nipple with his mouth. "I don't care about me, I want to make _you_ feel good."

Iwaizumi's face flushed darker. "Just—don't—" He cut himself off and looked away. "Don't touch me down there," he said through gritted teeth. "My—that—thing."

"I won't," Tooru whispered, squeezing Iwaizumi's fingers. He slid down, grasping Iwaizumi's underwear and tugging it down over his slim hips. His cock bounced free, slapping heavily against his abdomen. Iwaizumi's fingers clenched in the sheet again. "Just relax," Tooru told him, shimmying down between his thighs. He wrapped his fingers around Iwaizumi's cock, then ran his tongue over the head, tasting the salt there. Desire coursed down his spine, lodging somewhere around his tailbone. Even from here, he couldn't really see Iwaizumi's secondary genitalia, but he could smell the heat of his cunt, and he could imagine the taste on his tongue. Sighing, he lowered his head and took Iwaizumi's cock deep into his mouth, humming in satisfaction when the blunt head bumped the back of his throat.

Iwaizumi made a choked sound, hips jumping. "Oikawa," he groaned, back arching. 

For several minutes Tooru closed his eyes and focused on moving his head, on the slide of Iwaizumi's cock against his tongue and cheek, and supplementing it with the movements of his hand. It was gratifying to hear Iwaizumi's low sounds of pleasure, but even more so to feel him relax for maybe the first time since their escape. 

"Oikawa—" Iwaizumi groaned, heartfelt, heels digging into the bed. He was so hard now in Tooru's hand, his whole body trembling with anticipation. 

Tooru swallowed him deeper, wrapping his hands around Iwaizumi's thighs to give him more control. Iwaizumi filled his mouth, hot and thick, his cock leaking on the back of Tooru's tongue. Tooru swallowed the thin, salty fluid greedily, imagining that he was tasting the soft, slick flesh between Iwaizumi's thighs. His own dick pulsed heavy in his underwear, a wracking shudder passing over him from head to toe, something unnervingly close to an orgasm. He drew back, a string of spit and semen quivering between his mouth and the head of Iwaizumi's cock until he wiped it away with the back of his wrist. 

Iwaizumi looked gorgeous; flushed down to his sternum, his chest rising and falling sharply. He pushed himself up on one elbow, tilting one of his bent knees in as though trying to hide himself. Groaning, Tooru pushed his knee aside and crawled closer, bracketing Iwaizumi's head between his hands, and lining up so he could grind against Iwaizumi's cock through his underwear. 

"Hhn—Oikawa," Iwaizumi groaned, putting one hand to Tooru's shoulder. His fingers flexed there, not quite encouraging him, not quite pushing him away. 

"Iwa," Tooru sighed, rolling his hips in a slow circle. "God—I can't stop thinking about this." 

Iwaizumi closed his eyes tightly. His fingers clenched around Tooru's shoulder. 

Experimentally, Tooru shifted his hips down a few inches, and ground into the burning, damp heat behind Iwaizumi's balls. Even through his underwear, he could feel the wet give, the inviting warmth of what lay back there. Guilt made him nauseous, but he couldn't stop, picturing sliding home into that perfect furnace of flesh.

"Oi," Iwaizumi said, his voice strained. He finally gave Tooru's shoulder a shove. 

"Sorry, Iwa-chan," Tooru murmured, reluctantly tearing himself away. Dampness that wasn't his own soaked the front of his underwear. He flopped to the side, removing himself from temptation. "I know you don't want me to," he said, glancing away, "but I was thinking about...what it would be like to touch you there." He trailed his fingertips over Iwaizumi's hip, and down to the crease of his thigh. "What it would feel like."

Iwaizumi growled at him. "This isn't enough for you?" he snarled, gesturing vaguely at his cock.

Tooru winced. "That's not what I meant." He leaned down to nuzzle his cheek against Iwaizumi's chest. "Don't be cross. I won't do anything if you tell me not to."

Sighing, Iwaizumi slid his fingers through Tooru's hair, stroking it back from his face, sliding around to cradle his head. Then, to Tooru's surprise, he made a fist, clenching a handful of Tooru's hair between his fingers. 

"Ah—Iwa-chan," Tooru gasped, head wrenching back a few degrees. 

Iwaizumi yanked his head back further. "You want to treat me like some bitch you can breed?"

Tooru grimaced, even as arousal spiked through him again. "Don't be stupid."

"Turn over."

The breath caught in Tooru's throat. "What—"

Iwaizumi pulled his hair again. "On your stomach."

Tooru's pulse hammered. He shuffled clumsily onto his hands and knees, face flushing as he watched Iwaizumi climb to his knees and then move behind him. Tooru bit his lip. "Iwa—"

"You want to get fucked, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi growled. 

The image of it assaulted Tooru's mind; Iwaizumi holding his wrists behind him while he pounded into him. Tooru swallowed. "Y-yes."

Iwaizumi's hand slid down the length of Tooru's spine, sending a shiver through him. "Are you serious?" Iwaizumi murmured, sounding annoyed. His hand cupped Tooru's backside, and he dug in with his thumb, rubbing over Tooru's hole through his underwear. 

The sudden contact made Tooru jolt, a startled moan escaping him. Iwaizumi swore softly, withdrawing his hand. There was a slick sound and a faint pop of him sucking on his thumb, and then he was pulling Tooru's underwear down, nudging at his hole with the broad, blunt tip of his thumb. He circled it a few times, before pushing in to the knuckle. A shivery sensation trembled along Tooru's arms and down his legs, and he dropped forward onto his elbows, breath shuddering out of him. 

"G-god, Oikawa," Iwaizumi groaned, breathing out heavily. He withdrew suddenly, and left the bed to retrieve something from his bag on the other side of the room. "You sure you want this?" he asked, rejoining Tooru on the bed moments later. 

Tooru groaned, rocking back and forth on his knees. "Iwa— _please_."

"I, uh—I don't even know if I can still come."

"Then let's find out," Tooru insisted, reaching back to pull him closer. 

Iwaizumi was more gentle than Tooru had expected, but they were both too impatient to devote much time to prepping him, and so it was still uncomfortable when Iwaizumi finally pushed inside him. The feeling eased quickly as Iwaizumi began to fuck him with slow, heavy strokes, holding his hips tightly. Sweat ran down Tooru's neck, and gathered in the crease of his knees, and all he could think of was how it would feel to fuck Iwaizumi like this, on his hands and knees; whether he would make noises too, and whether he could come from it.

Tooru's focus narrowed down to the places where they touched, to the intense heat of their skin pressed together, the rhythm and weight of Iwaizumi fucking into him. He began to move faster, pounding into Tooru, driving him further up the bed with the force of his thrusts. 

"Oi—Oikawa," Iwaizumi moaned eventually. He leaned forward, covering Tooru's body with his own. "F—fuck, I'm gonna—ah— _ah_!"

Tooru reached below himself to grasp his cock, but his movements were slow and lazy. He was preoccupied with listening to the sound of Iwaizumi's voice falling apart, and enjoying the increasingly insistent press of his fingers where they grasped his hips. Iwaizumi came finally, hips jerking and his breath heavy against Tooru's shoulder. Spent, he slumped against Tooru's back, one arm wrapped loosely around his chest. 

Tooru let his weight drop down fully onto the bed, with Iwaizumi sprawled over him, and for several minutes they just lay and breathed in each other's space, warm and close. Finally, Tooru cleared his throat and reached up to find Iwaizumi's hand. 

"I guess it worked," he murmured. 

Iwaizumi snorted with laughter, then he pushed his face against the back of Tooru's neck and sighed softly. "Thank you," he murmured. 

Tooru shifted, turning over to face him. "Why are you thanking me?" he asked, lifting his hand to touch Iwaizumi's jaw. 

"I dunno," Iwaizumi mumbled, leaning into his touch. "Just...thanks. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

Tooru's stomach froze. Again he remembered the lab. The Neah'u. Iwaizumi's eyes opening just before they took him away. "Yeah," he said, swallowing down the bile at the back of his throat. "I guess not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sharing this disgusting ride with me :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 4000 words of smut, please enjoy :')

In the end, they decided on a compromise. They bought a small ship, which was still bigger and better equipped than the ship they'd traded in several days earlier, and docked it aboard the Vy'keen freighter. Travelling with the freighter, even for a short period of time, would allow them to travel a long way in a very short time frame, without having to waste resources on warp fuel and engine maintenance. And while freighters were more of a target for pirates, they were also much better equipped to defend themselves. 

Hajime watched through a small window as they left the space station behind them, and began the new leg of their journey. He and Oikawa had been assigned a small cabin, similar to the room they'd occupied on the station, and Oikawa had retired there immediately upon joining the freighter. 

Lacking the gravity of the station, their cabin was equipped with small bunks, similar to the one on board their first ship. When Hajime returned, Oikawa was already asleep in one of the bunks, his sleeping bag tethered to the wall in several places. Without meaning to, Hajime found himself hovering beside Oikawa's bunk, watching his eyelids flutter as a dream took hold of him. As he watched, Oikawa's brow creased, and his fingers twitched at the edge of the sleeping bag.

Hajime withdrew, not wishing to wake him. It had been almost thirty hours since their encounter on the station, and Hajime had busied himself since then, sorting out the purchase of the ship and restoring their damaged exosuits, while Oikawa negotiated their passage on the freighter. They hadn't talked about what had happened between them. Even so, the situation had been playing on Hajime's mind. Instinct still made him wary of Oikawa, of letting him close, but keeping him at arm's length was futile when he had no more secrets to hide. 

While Oikawa slept, Hajime started to prepare to take a nap himself, but he kept finding himself distracted by the memory of what they'd done together; the sensation of Oikawa grinding against him, and the hot ache between his legs. Hajime groaned and covered his face with both hands. He tried to focus instead on the memory of fucking Oikawa, how it had felt to hold him down and move against him. He wanted more. Much more. 

Just as he climbed into his own sleeping bag, Oikawa jolted awake with a gasp.

"Iwa-chan?"

Hajime leaned out of his bunk. "Hey. You okay?"

Oikawa glanced over at him. "You're here," he sighed, closing his eyes. "Good."

"Bad dream?"

"It doesn't matter," Oikawa said, expression clouding. He opened his eyes again after a moment and smiled at Hajime. "Are you alright?"

Hajime nodded. 

Oikawa sighed and stretched, and then turned over to look at Hajime again. "What are you thinking about, Iwa-chan?" 

"None of your business," Hajime muttered, burrowing down into his sleeping bag. 

A bubble of laughter crossed the cabin. "Iwa-chan, don't be so selfish." 

Hajime snorted. "I'm not, you're just nosy."

"Guilty," Oikawa said in a smug voice. 

"I just—" Hajime sighed. He bit his bottom lip, weighing the pros and cons of trying to show Oikawa some of the tangle in his head. "What we did. Before, when we—"

Oikawa grinned. "Fucked?"

Hajime glared at him. "If you're trying to make me blush, you're out of luck."

"I should be the one blushing," Oikawa said in a low voice. "I've never been fucked like that, you know."

Groaning, Hajime pulled his sleeping bag up over his head. "Shut up."

Oikawa's laughter bubbled up again. There was a rustling sound, and when Hajime looked up again, Oikawa was extricating himself from his sleeping bag.

"What're you doing?"

"Coming over there, obviously."

Hajime's ears burned. "Why?"

Oikawa didn't reply, too busy wriggling out of his sleeping bag. He pushed himself free, and then jammed his foot against the edge of his bunk and kicked himself gently across the room toward Hajime. 

"Hey," Hajime complained, when Oikawa swung himself down into Hajime's bunk. "There isn't room for two in here."

"Then you'd better come out here," Oikawa purred, reaching to unfasten Hajime's sleeping bag. 

Hajime's heart began to pound faster, loud in his ears. "Oikawa—" he began, an instinctive protest, before cutting himself off. He could have this, if he wanted it. Drawing in a sharp breath, he followed Oikawa's lead, shrugging off his sleeping bag so that he could eliminate the scant distance between them.

Oikawa's arms were around him in moments, his face warm against Hajime's neck, one of his knees nudging between Hajime's thighs. "We don't have to—do anything," Oikawa murmured.

Hajime clutched him more tightly, fingers digging into the muscle between Oikawa's shoulder blades as a bolt of electricity shot down his spine and started up a dull ache that spread from his tailbone to his cock. "I want to. I—haven't stopped thinking about it." 

"Me neither," Oikawa said, holding him close. 

They were adrift in the cabin now, floating gently across the space. Hajime put his fingers in Oikawa's hair, turning his head to kiss him. Oikawa's mouth slid against his own, eager and hot, and his hands slipped beneath Hajime's clothing, warm on his bare skin. 

Undressing one another was more complicated without gravity holding them in place, but they managed to strip down to their underwear without too much trouble, and then Oikawa's fingers were around his cock, which he soon followed with the velvet heat of his mouth, and any thought of awkwardness dissolved from Hajime's mind. 

When Oikawa pulled him closer, Hajime hooked his thighs around Oikawa's shoulders to keep them anchored. It was good to let go of himself, just a little, although even Oikawa's talented mouth couldn't distract him from the throbbing that had started between his legs. Every stroke of Oikawa's tongue and press of his lips made heat churn through Hajime, and he began to worry that Oikawa would notice. And then, just as he thought it, Oikawa's hand crept between his legs, tugging at the edge of his underwear.

Hajime's fingers clenched in Oikawa's hair. "Oikawa—"

"Mm," Oikawa hummed, his mouth still occupied. 

Hajime bit his lip. "Oikawa—"

Oikawa pulled off with a soft popping sound. His thumb toyed with the edge of Hajime's underwear, teasing at the soft, sensitive skin of his inner thigh. "Aren't you curious, Iwa-chan?"

"I—" 

"I think you are," Oikawa pressed. "I can smell you, you know. Getting turned on." 

Mortified, Hajime covered his face. "Shut up," he mumbled.

"Iwa," Oikawa murmured. He took hold of Hajime's elbows and pulled himself up until they were face to face again. He nuzzled the back of Hajime's fingers, which were still spread over his hot face. When Hajime parted his hands, Oikawa kissed him, his teeth sharp in Hajime's bottom lip. 

Hajime groaned and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Oikawa's hand slid down over his stomach and began to stroke his cock again with slow, determined movements, filling him with a hazy warmth. But then his other hand ventured up between Hajime's thighs again, and Hajime tensed, panting against Oikawa's mouth. 

"W-wait—"

The progress of Oikawa's hand stopped, but he didn't pull away. "Iwa-chan," he murmured, voice low, almost a growl. "You're _soaked_."

Hajime shivered, and a shudder of unwanted pleasure rippled through his cunt. "Oikawa—" he said in a gruff, warning voice. 

"Do you ever touch it?" Oikawa whispered.

"Only—when I have to."

Oikawa's brow creased. "Are you afraid of it?"

"What?" Hajime snarled. He reached out and cuffed Oikawa around the head.

"Ow! Iwa-chan—!"

"Are you stupid? Of course I'm not afraid of it!"

"It was just a question!" Oikawa said, pouting. 

"A stupid question."

Oikawa rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to help."

"Well, don't."

An awkward silence fell between them.

"Would you let me—touch you?" Oikawa ventured at last, his voice soft.

Heat flooded Hajime's face. He swallowed heavily. "Why?"

Oikawa leaned closer again, cupping Hajime's jaw carefully. "Iwa," he murmured, moving in to press their lips together. 

Hajime didn't want to lean into him, but he couldn't help himself, his body reacting without consulting him. They kissed slowly, and Oikawa ran his hand down the side of Hajime's neck, fingers light on his skin. The touch continued down, over his chest, his abdomen, before lingering at the edge of his underwear. 

"Oikawa," Hajime groaned softly. "I dunno if—"

"Shhh," Oikawa whispered, kissing his jaw softly. "Tell me to stop, and I will, but let me try." 

Hajime groaned. "Oikawa—"

Oikawa moved his lips down the length of Hajime's neck, pressing slow kisses into his skin. The drag of his teeth made Hajime shudder, a wave of urgency breaking in his gut.

"A-alright," Hajime gasped, clutching at Oikawa's shoulders. "But—stop if I—"

"I will," Oikawa promised. He flattened his hand against Hajime's stomach, the heat of his palm strangely comforting. Slowly, he inched it lower, moving his hand over the swell of Hajime's cock. 

Hajime watched the progression of his hand as it moved lower, until Oikawa touched his cheek again, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. 

"Iwa-chan," he murmured. "Eyes up here."

When Hajime raised his head reluctantly, Oikawa caught him in another lingering kiss. His teeth were sharp against Hajime's bottom lip, focusing his attention away from the buzzing, pounding _want_ coursing through his lower regions. 

Oikawa's hand moved down between his legs, fingertips stuttering over his sticky inner thigh, and then he pressed in behind Hajime's balls, gently rubbing his knuckles against the sensitive, aching flesh. 

Hajime shuddered again, drawing a sharp gasp against Oikawa's mouth. 

"Alright?" Oikawa murmured. His eyelashes fluttered against Hajime's cheek, the sensation strangely grounding. "Iwa?"

"Mm."

Oikawa's knuckles moved against him, grinding in gently and then retreating, over and over, painfully slow. Each movement made the ache more acute, focusing all the sensation into one hot, agonising core of molten desire. Hajime's fingers clenched more and more tightly around Oikawa's shoulders, and his mouth felt raw as he scraped his bottom lip between his teeth over and over. 

"F-fuck, Iwa," Oikawa groaned. "Can I—can you take these off?"

Hajime hesitated, but only for a moment. He _wanted_ so badly that it was painful. Releasing his iron grip on Oikawa's shoulders, he reached down to hook his underwear with his thumbs and tug it down. Oikawa joined in after a moment, seizing a handful of the soaked fabric and yanking it down to Hajime's calves, exposing him to the tepid air. Hajime kicked it off, watching it float across the cabin, shivering when Oikawa's hand came down on his thigh. 

"Take a deep breath, Iwa," Oikawa murmured. "Just yell if you want me to stop or slow down."

Biting his lip again, Hajime gave a furious nod. "Just—get on with it."

Oikawa moved his hand over the top of Hajime's thigh. He dug his fingers in suddenly and tugged, spreading Hajime's legs wider. It made Hajime blush, a protest dying on his tongue. He wanted Oikawa inside him, even as the thought reviled him. 

"So beautiful," Oikawa murmured, moving down again between his thighs.

Hajime's face flamed. "It's just a stupid experiment gone wrong."

"Oh no, no," Oikawa soothed, leaning in. He kissed the inside of Hajime's thigh, mouth hot on his bare skin. "It's perfect," Oikawa insisted, his voice slightly muffled. "You're perfect, Iwa-chan."

Before Hajime could come up with another response, Oikawa pressed the pad of his thumb against the wet, shivery folds of his cunt. Hajime jerked in the air, a sharp gasp escaping him again. And then Oikawa lowered his head, gently lifting Hajime's balls out of the way with his free hand, and replaced his thumb with his tongue. 

Hajime fought against the urge to clamp his knees together. Instead he took several shallow breaths, trying to calm himself. The sensation between his legs was unfamiliar but not unpleasant; he glanced down, and his stomach twinged at the sight of Oikawa's head moving, his eyes closed in apparent bliss. Oikawa's mouth kept moving, lips and tongue teasing at his labia, even nuzzling with the tip of his nose. Eventually he dragged his tongue upward, and pressed it against a sensitive spot that made Hajime jerk and wince.

"Hey—careful," Hajime complained. 

Oikawa chuckled. "That's your clit, Iwa-chan."

"Why the fuck do I have one of those?"

"How should I know?" Oikawa murmured, lowering his head to his task once more. His breath was cool against the surging, hot flesh of Hajime's cunt. "Do you want me to touch it?"

Hajime groaned and covered his face with both hands. "I don't know if I want you to do any of this."

"Mm. Let me try, I'll still stop if you tell me."

It was tempting to turn him down, to edge away from the whole thing and shove it back into a dark corner of his mind. He didn't think Oikawa would press him on it if he said he wanted to forget the whole thing. But there was still the insistent ache between his thighs, the slickness shining on Oikawa's chin and his dark, heavy gaze. 

"Fine," Hajime mumbled.

With a satisfied nod, Oikawa ducked down between his legs again, licking and sucking at the swollen lips of Hajime's cunt. He kept it slow, and relentless, and eventually he nuzzled up against Hajime's balls again and closed his mouth around that aching, electric little point that made Hajime's back arch. 

"C-careful," he hissed, kicking his heel against Oikawa's arm involuntarily. 

"Mm," Oikawa hummed, tonguing at it slowly. 

It sent shudders through Hajime, his clit oversensitive to the point of pain. Instinctively, he tried to close his legs, but Oikawa held his thighs firm, keeping them spread. Oikawa looked up then, eyes heavy, and raised his eyebrow. 

"It's just—a lot," Hajime mumbled. 

Oikawa gave a slight nod before closing his eyes again, sinking back into his task. His fingers flexed against Hajime's thigh and then let go, trailing up to his hip. Hajime made a grab for his hand, linking their fingers together

Seemingly taking this as permission, Oikawa pushed Hajime's other leg higher and stroked over his clit again with the flat of his tongue, before closing his lips around it and sucking gently. Hajime choked, hips jerking as intense pleasure burst through the agony of overstimulation. His cock bounced against his abdomen, releasing a pulse of liquid, and he squeezed Oikawa's hand tightly, whether to encourage or warn him off, he wasn't even sure.

Oikawa pulled away briefly, heaving for breath. His mouth was red and the lower half of his face was shiny and wet. He wiped his mouth on his wrist before grinning up at Hajime. 

"Still with me, Iwa-chan?"

Hajime nodded. "You done?"

Oikawa's grin widened. "Not unless you want me to be."

Hajime's mouth opened and closed uselessly. 

"More or less?" Oikawa asked more gently, clambering up his body to kiss him. His mouth was bitter, and Hajime pulled a face at the taste of himself, but it didn't stop him going back for more of Oikawa's mouth. Laughing, Oikawa fended him off gently, nuzzling Hajime's throat. "Which do you want? More?" he whispered, trailing his fingers along Hajime's side. "Or less?"

"More," Hajime groaned, clutching Oikawa to him. He hooked a leg around Oikawa's thigh and ground their hips together, pressing his cock against the rough material covering Oikawa's hip. "Give me more. I can take it."

Oikawa moaned softly, eyes falling shut as he struggled to hold his composure. "Are you sure?" he asked in a shaky voice. "Maybe we should—take it slowly."

"No," Hajime growled, reaching down to slip his hands into Oikawa's underwear. "If I think about it anymore I'll go crazy. Just do it already." He grabbed Oikawa's ass, grinding their hips together again more firmly.

Oikawa let out a gasp against Hajime's mouth, hips jerking forward again, his erection hard and hot against Hajime's hip. Desire filled Hajime's throat, turned his brain inside out and poured hot treacle down his spine. 

"Oikawa," he said, voice thick. "Please—"

"Please what?" Oikawa whispered.

Unable to voice the urgency in his chest, Hajime bit his lip, and Oikawa's gaze darkened, eyes narrowing. He slid his hand down between them, toying with Hajime's cock briefly before slipping down, between his thighs.

"Oikawa—"

"Please what, Iwa?" Oikawa watched him closely as he slowly started to grind his knuckles against Hajime's cunt again, fingers skidding against the slippery flesh. He cursed softly, lowering his head for a moment to press against Hajime's shoulder. "You feel—amazing."

Hajime ached, and _ached_ , Oikawa's slow, circular movements only exacerbating the sensation. He dug his fingers into Oikawa's arms again and rolled his hips up, pushing into Oikawa's hand, urgently seeking _more_. 

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered, his voice strained. "Can I—touch you?"

"You _are_ touching me," he groaned. 

Oikawa let out a breathless laugh. "No," he murmured, stilling his movements. He turned his hand, and then his finger was pushing, pressing in, sliding up inside him.

Hajime tensed, his breath catching in his lungs. 

"Iwa," Oikawa murmured. He nuzzled Hajime's cheek, soft hair tickling his ear. "Relax, sweetheart."

"Hn," Hajime grunted, trying to force his fingers to unclench. He must have been digging bruises into Oikawa's arms. Oikawa hadn't moved his hand yet, waiting patiently for Hajime to adjust, his breath hot against Hajime's shoulder. 

They floated together for almost a minute, panting against one another, pressed together and hardly moving. Oikawa's finger in his cunt was an intrusion, but not so uncomfortable as the first times he'd touched himself, the hated necessity of the cup. Hajime's eyes were screwed up tight. He took a deep breath, and let his face relax, then focused on his shoulders, arms, hands. Oikawa sighed against him, shifting his weight slightly. His hand jostled, bumping up against Hajime's cunt and drawing a sharp gasp from both of them.

"Watch it!"

"You're—so tight," Oikawa groaned. 

"I'm trying to relax," Hajime snapped. 

Oikawa kissed the side of his neck softly. "Shh, I know."

Hajime felt like a piece of elastic pulled tight, taut and quivering, ready to snap. He turned his head a fraction, seeking out the heat of Oikawa's mouth with his own, and slowly began to move, rocking his hips back and forth against Oikawa's hand. Oikawa moaned into his mouth and Hajime swallowed up the sound gratefully. He couldn't tell if he was just starved for human intimacy, or if the sound of Oikawa's voice breaking in pleasure really was the best sound in the universe. His body hungered for Oikawa's, making him slippery and pliant. That hot core was building inside him again, a deep drumming in his veins, in his pores, the sensation coalescing around the warm, stiff finger slowly moving inside him. 

"Iwa," Oikawa panted against his cheek, moving his hand slowly. He drew back a short way and his eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed. "Iwa—Iwa—are you—"

"I'm okay," Hajime groaned. He reached down between them, hand shaking, and grasped Oikawa's wrist. After a moment's hesitation, he thrust Oikawa's hand against himself. "M-more."

Oikawa groaned, nodding his head. He pulled his hand back, leaving behind a yawning sensation, before nudging against Hajime's cunt again with two blunt fingertips. He pushed inside, Hajime's cunt stretching to accommodate him easily. It eased the ache slightly, but only for a moment. He rolled his head back, biting his lip hard, his eyes clenched shut as he chased the twist of strange pleasure amongst his discomfort. 

With Hajime's head turned away, Oikawa kissed the bared curve of his throat, moving down to kiss his collarbone, and then his chest, all the while grinding into Hajime slowly with his fingers. He kept making his way down, leaving slow, open-mouthed kisses over Hajime's stomach, and then lapping at the wetness left by his leaking cock. 

"Oikawa—" Hajime groaned, shivering. 

Oikawa nuzzled Hajime's cock with his cheek, then drew it into his mouth, sinking down deep. He started to bob his head, matching it to the rhythm of his hand working, until Hajime was whimpering, fucking up into Oikawa's mouth and down onto his hand, rocking between the two. 

"Oi—Oikawa," he gasped, feeling a telltale tightening in his balls, a rush of heat to the base of his spine. "Gonna—gonna—"

Releasing him, Oikawa replaced his mouth with his fingers. The abrupt change of pace made Hajime's oncoming orgasm stutter briefly, but Oikawa worked him fast, palm slick with his own saliva. 

"Come on, Iwa," Oikawa murmured. 

When Hajime spared him a glance, Oikawa's face was red, and he was biting his lip furiously as he stared at Hajime. His fingers worked deep inside Hajime, twisting and moving back and forth, grinding into him. His cunt ached, and his clit quivered, desperate to be touched again. 

"Oikawa," he gasped, closing his eyes tightly. "C-could you—"

Oikawa hummed softly, then he lowered his head again, nuzzling Hajime's cunt with his nose and mouth. His breath was hot against Hajime's flesh, and his hand still moved rhythmically over Hajime's cock. He drew the flat of his tongue over Hajime's clit, and then he closed his lips around it and sucked hard. 

Electricity ran down Hajime's spine, and an earthquake rolled out from the centre of his chest, radiating along his arms and down his thighs as he spasmed with pleasure. He didn't realise he had cried out until he heard Oikawa's soft laughter, and recognised the loose, guttural sounds as coming from his own throat. 

"Oh," he sighed, coming down, still shuddering, cunt clenching automatically around Oikawa's fingers. 

Oikawa propped his chin against Hajime's hip and beamed at him. "Feel better?"

"Get your hand out of there," Hajime scolded, but gently, knocking Oikawa away only to reach for him, to kiss the bitterness from his mouth. He did feel better. He felt weak and trembly in the aftermath, and glancing down realised that his cock was still hard and red and wanting. "Oh," he murmured, slow-voiced and frowning. "I thought I came."

"That wasn't you coming?" Oikawa asked, eyes widening.

Hajime snorted. "No, I—I think I did, just—" 

He reached down, wrapping his fingers around his cock. Like his clit, it was oversensitive almost to the point of pain, and it only took him a couple of jerks before another, weaker orgasm rolled through him, semen spurting into the air between them. 

"Oh," Oikawa moaned softly, gripping Hajime more tightly. His hands cupped Hajime's face and then Oikawa kissed him hard, fierce with tongue and teeth, fingers in Hajime's hair. 

They were both breathing hard when they parted. Hajime was sated, but still shivery. The ache hadn't fully gone away. He reached down between them, pulling Oikawa's cock free of his underwear. It was longer than his own, but it curved into his palm beautifully, just as Oikawa's voice fell soft and urgent into his ear. Acting purely on instinct, Hajime drew himself closer to Oikawa, sliding down until their hips matched together, and Oikawa's cock slid between his thighs. The blunt head of it rubbed against the quivering wet lips of his cunt.

"I-Iwa," Oikawa stammered, breathless and flushed. His nails dug into Hajime's ass, kneading his flesh impatiently. "Are you sure—are you—"

"Just—like this," Hajime murmured, and began to move, rocking his hips back and forth so that Oikawa's cock slipped and squished against his vulva, stimulating them both together.

Oikawa clutched him more tightly, pressing his forehead against Hajime's shoulder. "Hhn—Iwa—Iwa-chan—" His hips moved faster, driving his cock between Hajime's legs. So close to fucking him. 

"I've got you," Hajime muttered, reaching up to fist his hand in Oikawa's hair. He wondered how it would feel if one of them shifted, changed the angle by a few degrees. If Oikawa would slip inside him, whether Hajime could take him. He put his hands on Oikawa's ass and changed the angle of his hips. Oikawa's thrusts slowed, falling still for the span of one breath, and then he was pushing the hot, wet head of his cock against Hajime's cunt, pushing up and in, straining against that warm, shuddering entrance. Hajime bit his lip. "It—it won't go in." 

"It's tight," Oikawa agreed. He looked up, blinking, his eyes heavy. "Do you—want me to?"

Hajime winced. "It'll hurt."

Oikawa's expression clouded. "Probably. I'm sorry—"

"Forget it," Hajime muttered, slipping his hand between them again. "Let me."

Oikawa didn't object to Hajime finishing him off. It didn't take long. They both looked around when they were done and grumbled at the mess they'd made. 

"Clean it up later," Oikawa said, yawning. 

Hajime gritted his teeth. He deliberately pushed aside his awareness of the way his cunt felt after Oikawa had touched him there, and the stickiness on his thighs left there by their exertions He deliberately ignored the vague yearning as he ached for more. 

Oikawa pushed him toward his bunk. "Get some rest, Iwa-chan."

"What're you going to do?"

Oikawa winked at him. "We're not travelling for free, remember? I've got work to do." He crossed to a locker containing his things and began to dress. "Don't miss me too much, alright?"

"You're full of yourself."

"Now now, Iwa-chan," Oikawa teased. "Play nicely and maybe you can be full of me too."

Hajime stared at him. 

Oikawa's eyes widened. "Iwa—I'm sorry, I didn't think—"

"It's fine," Hajime said, shrugging. "Get out of here already, you're too loud."

"Mm, I'll see you in a few hours," Oikawa said, waving before he ducked out of the cabin door and away. 

Hajime zipped himself back into his sleeping bag, and tried to ignore the clench of desire at the thought of having Oikawa inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a preeeetty bad week so far, so shares/comments are extra appreciated :)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://notallballs.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/notallbees) | [my iwaoi fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=1329922&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&fandom_id=758208&user_id=notallbees)
> 
>    
>  **Glossary:**
> 
> **Exosuit:** A space suit with a life support system, jetpack and storage canisters for materials. Designed for short EVAs. Life support depletes quickly but can be manually recharged with carbon-based isotopes.  
>  **Multitool:** A gun-shaped mining tool/projectile weapon. Used to harvest materials and provide basic defense.  
>  **Sentinel:** A small, autonomous drone that patrols the surface of most planetary bodies in the known universe. It is unknown how or why they were created, or how they came to be dispersed throughout the stars.  
>  **Habitation Core:** The centre of the ship rotates to create artificial gravity. The cockpit and other non-habitat functions are located on the outer ring which doesn't rotate.


End file.
